A 13 Part Valentines Day Rant By Me
- So, here's my beef with Valentine's Day, any holiday whose mascot is a fat naked man flying around shooting arrows at random people has GOT to be messed up.
- Plus, if you are single you feel like an utter freak. (Unless, like my mother, you didn't care about what guys thought about you when you were a teen. Good for you. I don't have that talent.)
- And when you feel like an utter freak, no amount of reassurance that you are a strong, confident, intelligent woman and that someday a wonderful man who looks stunningly like Topher Grace is going to sweep you off of your feet with a dozen roses and ask you to bear his children (after marriage of course) is going to make you feel better.
- Of course, along with those who fantasize about the above mentioned Topher-look-alike on your behalf, like to encourage you that this said man will be around next year.
- Yeah right.
- And how exactly did the massacre of two Martyrs named Valentine somehow translate into an "Oh Baby I love you" holiday?
- I know when I see two mangled men dying in anguish I think "Gee whiz! This would be a great time to give that special someone a tennis bracelet/chocolates/card/dozen roses/ (insert romantic gift here)
- Also, didn't all of you lovebirds just get a holiday to schmooze on New Years Eve at midnight?
- And with Valentines Day, why on earth is Sweetest's Day around? Is it to torment us (unhappy) singles?
- I think I would like it in Korea, honestly. On April 14th, if you recieve nothing for Valentine's Day, you go to this huge party with other singles and eat Jajangmyun, which is noodles in black sauce. The holiday is called Black Day.
- Why don't we have a single's day in the USA?
- Did I mention I was dumped on Valentine's day once? (The crapweasel!)
- Above all, my brother (who was too cute for me to get upset) asked me today "Why aren't you married? When are you getting married? Are there any boys who will marry you?" Unfortunately, haven't found one where the interest is mutual, even if I was eligible.
P.S. If I get one comment with the words "You are only 16" I will hurt someone!