Just pray for me, okay?

Trust me. I really am trying. Really.

If the pictures arent' showing up...I'm sorry.

I’m still trying to adjust to living here, but hopefully the next few days will help me feel better. Yesterday was my first day eating something other than home cooked food. For lunch we tried some authentic Paraguayan cusine.

I must tell you, though, the burgers here are much better than the ones in the States. The meat has a lot more flavor and the tomatoes are a lot fresher, I think. Everything is just better. And cheaper. The ad, because you all probably can’t convert American dollars to Paraguayan Guaranis, says that the burger is roughly $1.50, and for about an extra dollar, you can turn it into a combo meal. A Whopper meal is a little less than $2.50! And the Burger Kings here have ice cream, unlike ours. They have sundaes and cones. I’ve never seen a Burger King selling cones in the United States. Milkshakes, however, are pretty much never sold at restaurants. And McDonald’s cones, which I love anyway, are apparently sold either vanilla or with a dulce de leche swirl. Also, Sis.Bir says that the ice cream here is more creamy and has more vanilla.

I had my first day of work after that. I like the school kids a lot. The preschool kids are really adorable, but they talk really fast, so it’s hard to understand them. They really seem to like me though. Yesterday they kept wanting me to tie their shoes. One little boy, whose name I don’t remember, came over and wanted me to tie his shoe for him. I did and five seconds later, he came over and lifted his foot again.

“Zapato?” (Shoe?)

“Tu zapato es bien!” (Your shoe is fine!”

“No es!” (No it’s not!)

“Otra vez?” (Again?)

He had gone over and untied his shoe so I would tie it again. It was so cute. The afternoon teacher in the preschool, Isabel, told the kids about where I came from and that I flew a long way on a plane. So one of the little boys, named Nestor, took a piece of paper and folded it into an avión for me.

I wasn’t a huge fan of teaching third and fourth grade, but they are incredibly smart and they love learning English. The kids are really crazy, especially this one little boy, who yells out all the time, and is frequently in trouble. But they all like to learn new words and seem especially enthusiastic about the colors.

After school, Bro.Bir had a meeting so Sis.Bir and I went out to find some dinner. The first place we went was a local stand that they always go to because they make the best empanadas and I had wanted to try some for a while. So, I ordered a carne empanada and a jamon y queso empanada.

So, while this lady takes our order, but then another customer walks in, and she begins waiting on her instead. Well, we weren’t extremely thrilled about that, but really wanted empanadas, so we waited. It was at this point that we noticed the woman cough. Without covering her mouth. On the food. And then, she wiped her nose with her hand. And continued to serve the empanadas.

“Do you want to leave and get something else?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

There is a lot of sickness here right now, and that really scares me anyway. There’s some kind of bronchitis-pneumonia thing going around. Three people have gone into the hospital since I’ve been here, including the couple that I will possibly living with later on. People in the grocery store yesterday were wearing masks, but Sis.Bir assured me that I would be okay and shouldn’t worry. But I’m a germaphobe when I’m in the States, so here it’s even worse. The country is really dirty, but that whole thing doesn’t really bother me. It’s that there is no real regulation for things like the handling of food. The empanada thing made me want to hurl.

So, instead of going there, we ended up going to a Lebanese food stand, which is very popular with people here.

And I just noticed you can see my hand and camera in the window’s reflection. Creepy. Another note, You may notice that the letters look kind of like the letters in the Walt Disney logo. Those letters are everywhere. I have no idea why.

But this place is really, really good and is famous for their lomito arabes. They have beef, chicken, and lamb, as well as some mixtures of these. I had the beef and it was really good.

I also had the chance to have the national drink, Guarana. It’s a kind of pop with some kind of berry in it. It has a really weird taste, with kind of a bitter edge, but it really is delicious.

I also got to have my first grocery shopping experience in Paraguay yesterday. It’s not all that different except for the deli, which I didn’t get a picture of, unfortunately. There were chorizos and salchicas just hanging from hooks. The other cool thing was the cereal aisle. They have a lot of American cereals, because Kellogs apparently has a branch in Brazil.

The next two nights should be fun. And interesting. Last night a few of the youth people asked the Birs if they could take me to dinner tonight so that they could get to know me. Only one of them speaks a little bit of English, so it should be interesting. But I’m really excited, because maybe this will be a chance for me to make some friends and hopefully get my mind off of being homesick. Tomorrow night, there’s a youth service and one of the girls wants me to go to it so that she can introduce me to the forty people in the young people’s group. That absolutely terrifies me because my Spanish is fairly limited. I guess this is the only way for me to get used to speaking Spanish, but I’m terrified I’m going to say something stupid or that I’ll offend people or something.

Thank you for all of the encouragement that I’ve received in my comments and some emails. I love that you all are praying for me and rooting for me to stay the whole six months. There are just things that I need to make decisions on, and while if I could stay for the whole six months, that would be great, I think that emotionally, three months is going to be my limit for now. My visa is up in September and I can either get it renewed or I can just come home then. There are many things right now that I’m really dealing with, and it’s not just the homesickness. That is a huge part of it, but there are other things that factor into what I’m dealing with right now. I have been in a situation before where I was pressured to stay somewhere because people would be upset if I didn’t, and after going through that situation, I welcome advice, but I really don’t care to put myself through that again, especially I’m dealing with a country 6000 miles away from home. Nobody knows all of my situation right now, except for God, and trust me, I have prayed probably more than I ever have in the past week. If I keep the mindset that I’m not going to be home until December, I’m not going to make it. Six months is too big of a time frame for me to fathom with how I feel right now, especially since I now have technical difficulties and can no longer talk to my parents because my computer for some reason won’t accept the microphone.

Just because right now I’m feeling like this trip isn’t going to be as long or in depth as I originally planned, doesn’t mean that I’m writing off ever doing missions ever again. Right now, I’m actually thinking that I’m much better as a Metro Missionary, because when I went to DC without my family, I was fine. Homesick, but not distraught and not eating like I have been here. I honestly don’t know what this means right now.

My mom last night brought the story of Mark and Paul to my mind. Mark got homesick, went home, and later on Paul wanted him to come back, even though he had written him off for leaving before. Maybe now isn’t the right time. Maybe what I’m supposed to get from this is that I’m not supposed to do foreign missions. Maybe I’m really a home missionary. I don’t know. I’ve made it through three days without dying.

First Post from Paraguay

I’m sorry that I haven’t written for the past couple of days. Hopefully you have been able to keep up via Twitter, Facebook, or my dad’s blog to know that I have made it to Asuncion alive. I’ve had to make several adjustments over the past few days, and have not really felt up to blogging. I realize that there are people from church reading this blog, and I’m sorry if I bum you out at all with this post. I will try to dull down the bad stuff as much as I can, and let you know more about the good stuff, but the truth is, being a missions worker is nothing like I expected, and I need to be completely honest about it.

The good stuff first.

Asuncion is beautiful. Lambare, where I am living is beautiful. However, they are not, to the average American eye, major tourist areas. The architecture is amazing. Most of the homes are white with red, clay colored slate roofs. There is absolutely no division between la ciudad and el campo (the city and the country). For example, the Birs, and by extension at the moment, I, live in a very nice rancho. It has three bedrooms, two stories, two bathrooms, and a courtyard. Next door, there are three very poor families, with roosters. I get woken up by the roosters every morning. Yesterday, we were driving along, coming home from the school and the church, and I saw cows. Yes, as in “Moooo….”. Cows. Just sitting in a random patch of grass in the midst of a bunch of Laundromats and empanada stands. It was fairly surreal.

The school was amazing. It’s very small, with three classrooms, a kitchen, and an office, with a courtyard in the middle. The kids seem to like me. I got so many hugs yesterday. They talk very fast and I try to talk to them, but it doesn’t work out very well. “Mas despacio, por favor” (more slowly, please) has become my favorite phrase. I did manage to make a friend at the school- one of the teachers named Deisy. She speaks no English, but has very good articulation and speaks very slowly so that I can understand her. We were able to talk for about twenty minutes yesterday, about our backgrounds, our families, and all of that stuff. She thought that Teacher Academy seemed very cool. I made one of my first mistakes yesterday, though. Deisy was telling me about the temperature in Paraguay during the summer and how incredibly hot it was. She asked how warm it was at home during our summer. I told her that in Ohio right now it was summer, and was very hot. ”When I left home on Monday, it was ninety degrees,” I told her. She gave me this look like I was insane and said “Ahhh….si….en Paraguay en el verano es treinta, veinte….” (Ahh…yes, in Paraguay in the summer it is thirty, twenty) I forgot that here they use Celsius. And I have no idea how to use Celsius. So, she probably thinks I live in a fantasy world at the moment. I was also able to talk to the Guarani teacher, who also teaches second grade. Guarani is the native language and a Guarani class would be the equivalent of our English classes in the United States. His name is Elias and he offered to teach me how to say some things in Guarani and asked me how I liked Paraguay. The people working at the school all seem very nice and hospitable. I was also able to sit in on their children’s service yesterday, or “cuto”. Don’t ask me what that means because neither I, nor the missionaries , know why they call it that.

They are attempting to build a new school across the street, with six new classrooms. It was apparently supposed to be ready this month, but due to excessive rains, they haven’t been able to finish it. It was nice to be able to see the progress on the building after hearing about the necessity to buy this land on the DVD that the Goodrums gave me last year.

I love all of these things, but one thing is extremely hard here. I hate being away from home. I was never really at home anyway, because I was usually with Dawn or Mistie or, back during the school year, Rachel. Because of this, I always considered myself a fairly independent person. However, being 6000 miles away, by myself is probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. People keep telling me that saying goodbye was the hardest part, but I really have to disagree with them. I have felt horrible since I left Houston. I was praying that I would have a fever at the Argentine airport so that they would send me back on a plane to the United States. But, I didn’t, and that airport was the worst experience. I got stopped at customs because they thought my books weren’t books, and ended up opening my suitcase to make sure that they were, in fact, books. The airport was huge, and although there was a McDonald’s, I couldn’t find it. In order to get into the country, I had to wear a face mask, because they were afraid of swine flu. Once I got to the Paraguayan airport, they didn’t make us wear face masks, or say anything about them, and when I got off the plane and into the place where my luggage was and my passport was stamped, I was horrified to see that everyone was wearing a face mask and I was not. The fear of disease is really getting to me. Sis.Bir made the mistake of telling me about Dengue. I have medicine to prevent malaria, but apparently, Dengue is a mild form of malaria, and there isn’t a medicine for it. She said that nearly everyone in the church has had it, and she is the only member of her family who hasn’t. Her neighbors apparently had notices put on their doors a little while back. She told me not to worry because people usually don’t die of it, but they are usually sick for about two weeks, with chills, aching bones, and flu-like symptoms. This terrifies me, because I haven’t felt great since I got here. I’m sure that it’s not that, but right now, I’m feeling pretty awful and am terrified that I’m going to get swine flu or Dengue and have to go to a Paraguayan hospital. Add to that, the fact that Pneumonia and Bronchitis are going around the school, and I’m a nervous wreck.

I haven’t really been able to eat since I left. In Houston, I picked at my dinner at Chili’s, causing even the waitress to comment that “You didn’t even eat it…”. Airline food, obviously, is just disgusting. Even here, I haven’t been able to eat, and we haven’t really eaten anything Paraguayan. We’ve had sloppy joes, pancakes, fried chicken, and mixtos, or grilled ham and cheese, since I’ve been here. I’ve just not been able to eat and Sis.Bir is convinced that I’m hungry and trying to be polite. But I’m really not. I’m just ridiculously homesick. I’ve slept a lot, not eaten a lot, and every chance I get, I’m on Skype with my parents or friends, because I go insane when I’m thinking of home and can’t talk to anyone. My first night here was horrible. I talked to my parents and when I got off to go to sleep, I couldn’t sleep because I found letters that they had written me and stuck in my suitcase, and started crying really hard, after trying so hard to keep my composure in front of the missionaries and to not cry. Then, for some reason, after that I couldn’t stop worrying that something horrible was going to happen to someone in my family, and I was going to have no way to find out because my BlackBerry doesn’t work, I have dial-up internet here, and even if I could find out, it’s a 21-hour trip home, at least! I feel so lost and alone. That night, I went and talked to Sis.Bir because I just couldn’t handle it any longer. I told her, point blank, that I didn’t think I could handle this six months. I missed home too much, and if I felt like this, there was no way that I would be any help to anyone. I was scared, sick, and just wanted to be at home, in my own bed. My family missed me, I missed them more than I could say, and it just wasn’t working for me.

This is the part where some of you may be frustrated with me, or even mad. Please don’t. I really am trying and this is really this hard for me.

She told me that she wanted me to commit to a month. Bro.Bir is going to Peru and she wants me to help her for the two weeks that he is gone and while winter break is going on. One month, and if I was still absolutely miserable, then they would take me to the airport, and I could go home. She told me that she thought I was incredibly brave for even getting on that airplane by myself at eighteen and coming over to Paraguay.

A month right now is my goal. I know that I’ve been working for the past year with a six month to a year mindset, but right now, the idea of a month is what I can handle. I have July 28th marked on my calendar, checking off the days. If after a month, I’m okay, I’ll try for another. The ultimate goal for me right now, although even this hurts to think about, is coming home once my first visa is up, in September. I’m sorry if this hurts or disappoints any of you. I honestly am going to give this all I have, but I really don’t know how much that is at the moment.

Hour 19....

In case you hadn't gathered this from last night, I'm having a pretty difficult couple of days. Leaving yesterday was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and I'm still not doing great, although sleeping most of the way from Houston to Argentina helped a lot.

I'm sitting in Buenos Aires right now and I'm leaving for Asuncion in about two hours. I have hobbled my way through customs and check in with my extremely broken Spanish. I got stopped at customs so that they could look at my books and make sure that they were, in fact, books. It was scary. I'm attempting to get used to a different keyboard layout because the Latin American setup is just really weird, and I can't find somewhere to  buy an adapter. That will be problematic if I can't find one.

I should also mention that thanks to the pandemic right now, I had to wear a very fashionable face mask until I got checked in. Not good times.

I am going to meet the missionaries in about four hours. I don't honestly know what to expect on that end. I do know that once I go live with this family that they have arranged, life is going to be fairly difficult, I'm just guessing from how hard it's been to get by with my Spanish here.

I don't know how I'm going to make it for the next six months right now. I haven't even been gone for 24 hours and I'm a wreck. I called my parents last night and I was bawling. It was not fun at all.

In my heart, I know that this is what I'm supposed to do. My head is  telling me something completely different. I  can't let my head win, but right now, it's seeming pretty easy to do that.

I'm sitting in Texas

Just thought you should know. I'm on the verge of my second crying fit of the day, so I'll spare you the post at the moment.

Last Day In The USA

This time tomorrow, I will be flying somewhere between Mexico and Central America on my way to Buenos Aires, and then to Paraguay. I have been horrible about keeping up with the blog over the past week, because I have been so stinking busy spending last evenings with friends and family, packing, unpacking, and repacking, and experimenting with just how much can fit into a carry-on suitcase.

(The answer to that last one is, a lot. More than the poor suitcase can probably take.)

Between spending a couple nights at Dawn's for the last time, getting thrown into a pool by Cerri, and putting spoons in a certain new homeowner's yard, it's been crazy. I've spent far more money than is probably necessary...well, that's not true. More than I planned on spending, at least, but I'm finally ready to go.

Tonight was my last service at my home church for a while. Carolyn and I did a sign language song (which was awesome) and I got more hugs, kisses, and prayers than I have ever received in my entire life. Even my grandpa, who never gets choked up and is pictured above, prayed over me and got pretty emotional. It hasn't really sunken in that I'm not going to see anyone for six months. I don't think it will hit me until I'm on my way to Houston for my first layover tomorrow. Then the poo will probably hit the fan. Who knows really? God does, actually. He hasn't let me down yet and I don't expect him to within the next couple of days. Prayers are going to be greatly appreciated.

I will be live blogging on the way there. I have two four-hour layovers, one in Houston, and one in Buenos Aires. I'll type at you then!

I'm a trend follower

Danessa is the only one awake at Dawn's house right now. So, I'm going to go ahead and do this. You enjoy that.


What is on your desktop wallpaper?


What is your favorite zoo animal?
Lemurs
What was your favorite toy as a child?
Mr.Bear. Duh.
What food do you eat too much of?
Pizza
What kind of hairstyle do you have?
It's not really styled at the moment.
What was your favorite gym class activity?
Dismissal
What is on the shirt you are wearing right now?
Nothing
What is the picture nearest to you?
It looks like there's a stack of baptism pictures on the table by me. I don't know though.
What kind of salad dressing do you like?
Ranch
What is your least favorite food?
Pineapple. Mainly because it makes my throat feel like it's spontaneously combusting.
What do you do on a Sunday night?
Go to church
If you could only have one condiment to use on your food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ranch dressing. True story, the last year I ate lunch in the cafeteria (my junior year), my friends counted only six days throughout the entire year that I didn't use ranch.
What color are your sheets?
White with flowers
How big is your computer screen?
No idea
What pair of shoes do you wear most often
Black flipflops or jelly shoes
What is your favorite game?
Sims 2
What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?
Mashed potatoes and gravy
What is your favorite pizza topping?
Pepparoni
What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning?
I'm not sure. It's the last few days that I'm home and can sleep in before working in Paraguay.

Dear Kate Gosselin, I hate you with a deep passion

1.) I knew it.
2.) I hate both Jon and Kate.
3.) Their poor plus 8. =(
4.) I still hate Kate more.
5.) Kate has HORRIBLE grammar.
6.) She also makes up words like "agreeance".

The end.

Medicine and Miracles

Doxycycline: Breakfast of Champions
Originally uploaded by Joey T

Yesterday, I headed over to the health department to get the rest of my vaccines before I head out in ten (TEN!) days. I didn't really know exactly what I was going to get. I knew I was going to finish up my Hepatitis A and B series, but that was about it. I knew that there were a few other shots, but wasn't sure if they were required, and assumed that we would have to make an appointment to meet with a travel nurse who would give us all of the info we needed.

Well, it turned out that she had an opening right then, and we could go ahead and meet with her as soon as we could. So, my mom went down to figure out all of the payment stuff, while I went in and got my hep vaccines.

Something to note- although I am a HUGE baby with a LOW pain tolerance, shots are not a big issue for me. If the injector doesn't tell  me when they are sticking the needle in, and they are quick, and I don't look, I'm good. I actually kind of enjoy shots as opposed to pills because they are quick and over with. The hep shots sting for about two seconds, my arm is sore for about ten minutes, and I call it a day.

So, I walk back to meet with the travel nurse and she has printed off the CDC's travel disease info about Paraguay, and I impressed her by saying, "Oh, the Yellow Book!", because she even had to look up what it was called. She lists off Yellow Fever (big surprise) and tells me that there's a risk. I'm a show off again and say, "Yeah, the CDC calls it a developing case and it started back in February, right?" Poor lady, putting up with me. So, she then tells me that I also have to get a typhoid shot, which was not a pleasant surprise, as if to say, "Haha, you show off! Didn't know about that risk, did you? Extra needles for you!" So, I get a very cool international inoculation certificate for this thing, and it lets me pass through borders much easier. Yay for that!  She also wrote me a prescription for Doxycycline,  an anti-malarial drug which is often used for acne prevention. Sweet!

My typhoid shot was in stock, thankfully, and so when she goes and gets the injections ready, she sits down and tells me very seriously, "It must be fate that brought you here today. I usually never have a Yellow Fever vaccine dose, because it has been in very high demand lately because of the outbreak. I have one dose left and thankfully, it's not already spoken for. You are very lucky."

P.S. I also didn't know that the vaccine had to be administered 10 days before I left. I got there 11 days before, just in the nick of time. And, by the way, although I can handle shots, that vaccine for Yellow Fever flipping HURTS! Yikes! And the side effects aren't all that fun, either.

So, apparently God really wants me to go, because it's just one more thing that's worked out against the odds. The funds are there, the shots are done, the prescription is in hand. I'm ready to go.

Blank

I miss my best friend. I can't sleep.

How can someone throw away four flipping years over something so dumb?

I hate this.

Done

I was always told that the friends I had in elementary school would probably not stick with me until the end. I didn't ever want that to be true, but lo and behold, as time went on, I only kept one or two friends from elementary school.

I've always envied people that have best friends who are there from the time that they're three until the time they have kids. I always wanted to have lifelong friends.

Until I got into my freshman year of high school, I never had a best friend that I did everything with and went everywhere with. I had a best friend and we played at church and I went to her house. But my freshman year, I found a "grown-up" best friend, I guess you could say. We were practically inseperable. We had classes together, we practically lived at each other's houses, we walked downtown all the time. We did Christmas shopping and studied for exams together. When she fell down the stairs and got a concussion, I went over to her house and sat with her to make sure she didn't do anything dumb under the influence of way too many painkillers. I was at her house when I got the call that Tiffany died.

For the past four years, she's been my best friend. We were going to go to the same college, until I changed to a bible school, and although we seemed to argue a lot, I didn't think anything of it because all friends fight, right? It wasn't a big deal.

Then, it started. She got mad at me one day after I called her out on badmouthing one of my other friends.  She was constantly talking about people behind their backs and never seemed to have anything nice to say about any of them. She felt the need to tell me how to run my life and tell others how to run theirs. The girls that we always hated and said that we would kill ourselves if we resorted to such a low; that's what she became.

She wouldn't talk to me on Graduation Sunday. The week before, she told me that she couldn't come to my graduation party because she had "too many others to go to". She sent me a text that said "Congratulations" a few hours after we graduated, she didn't show up at my party, and then I didn't hear from her for three days.

I heard through the grapevine that she was mad at me. I don't know why. She didn't ever tell me why she all of the sudden started acting the way that she did. The week before, we took pictures at our career center graduation, both excited to be done, hugging each other and jumping up and down because we would graduate in a week.

I finally sent her a text on Thursday, asking her what the heck was going on. She blamed me for everything, bringing up stupid, petty stuff which she was just as guilty of, and once I brought this up, she stopped sending me messages. I haven't heard from her since Thursday morning.

I can honestly say I tried. I wanted to keep my friend. I can't stand people hating me or being mad at me.  I've been through this with her before. A couple of years ago, when I thought I was moving, she got mad at me and stopped talking to me for about a week. We went out for coffee and it was all good. We went to school and stayed friends. We don't have the motivation of classes after the weekend to make us friends again. Coffee and a muffin isn't going to fix this. I don't know if we ever will be friends again.

I can honestly say that I'm okay right now. It's crappy, don't get me wrong. I miss having my friend to call when something happens. I hope things go well for her in the future. But, I can't do this anymore, and it doesn't do me any good to cry about it. I think I'm just going to be done.

Financial Woes, Revised

I sent an email to FMD on Wednesday telling them that "Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll go on my own on this one."

They said, "That's great! Way to go with minimalizing your budget! Send us confirmation of insurance and you're good to go! Make sure you have a credit or debit card. Good luck!"

Go me.

I have an AmEx Gold, connected to my parents, who have access to my accounts to pay for anything I put on the card. I managed to find insurance that is for cheap and looks fairly good. I need to have it reviewed by my parents to make sure that I'm not getting scammed, but when I looked at my budget again, I noticed that a third of my expenses were through the Foreign Missions Division.

Um. No.

Let me illustrate in numbers.

The total budget is $7250. Ouch. It is laid out as such-

Travel: $2000
I got a deal. $1300 is the actual amount.
Food: $600 ($100 per month)
Housing: $1500 ($250 per month)
Local travel: $600 ($100 per month for bus, taxi, etc.)
I've been told I'll be walking more than I'll be facilitating buses and taxis.
Miscellanious:
Personal, email, telephone: $300
I have free email through Yahoo! and won't have a phone. Yay for Skype!
Visa costs (including travel to renew): $150
Language study: [blank]
I'm just proud to throw that in. Go me!

These are the realistic/not-going-anywhere expenses. Aside for a few tweaks, these expenses are pretty much uniform.

Then let's look at the FMD Office Projections:

Insurance: $1225.62
WEC/IT Support: $120.00
WEC is my financial system. They're charging to run my financial system and then charging administrative fees. Huh? And why do I need IT support?
FMD Administration Charge: $721.73
They charge me just under $1000 for their administration.

Total budget: $7,217.35
Rounded budget: $7,250

Taking into account my potential insurance cost, I've going to end up spending $4,500 on this trip by going alone. I'm saving over $2000.

Tell me you wouldn't do the same.

Requirements and How To Get Around Them

I don't know if I've mentioned this a lot in the past eleven months, but FMD drives me to want to drink. Frequently. Which is a no-no for missionaries.

They have this requirement that when you leave for the missions field, you must have 50% of your budget AND your plane ticket. I thought I was pretty much set, and then realized I wouldn't be set until two days AFTER I am scheduled to leave.

Doh!

So, after I hyperventilated and had a small coronary, fully bringing down my high from receiving my visa in the mail today, I talked to my dad who said, "Why are you even going through FMD?"

Good question.

They have given me fits. They are taking 10% of my fundraising for "Administrative Charges", which is roughly $750. Their insurance is about $1600. The insurance is the only reason that I don't do this myself. That and that I haven't the slightest what I'm doing.

Dad tells me that he thinks he can do better on the insurance. Which is likely because the airfare estimate they gave me was about $800 too high. I'm thinking that doing this on my own may be better. I need to email the missionaries and get it all sorted out, but I think that I'm going to handle my own finances.

I think my blood pressure and heart will thank me.

I'm Graduated

Tomorrow, when I'm not so drained and exhausted, and when I sort of understand what's happened and it all sinks in, I'll post something.

It's All Over

I wish I had some nostalgic thing to say now that I'm done with high school, but it really hasn't hit me yet. High school wasn't the big thing that I always thought it was going to be. There are tons of people who think that now that we're graduating, the world is over. Those are the people that are going to be at our twenty year reunion talking about the three-point shot that they made or their cheerleader status. Maybe that's an unfair statement, because it's not just going to be the jocks. There will be people dwelling on ACT scores and science fair projects forever. It's just not important anymore. 

These were not the best years of my life, like everyone said. I was picked on, rejected, and had more issues with stress than I care to ever go through again.  I got an autoimmune disease from all that stress in tenth grade. If these were the best years of my life, then I want a refund. 

Tomorrow, at commencement practice,  there will be people crying because they're leaving all of this behind. I couldn't be happier.

And that's why I didn't get picked to be commencement speaker.

Productivity

It's my last day of work in the library and they left me in the workroom with four magazines to catalog and a cheesecake variety.

Silly people.

Cam Gigandet vs. Twilighters

Cam Gigandet vs. Twilight Fans from Cam Gigandet

If you haven't seen Twilight, this probably won't be that funny to you.

Otherwise, you're welcome.

I have 6.5 hours left in this building (aside from commencement practice)

I'm out of this place tomorrow.

I have an English "exam" today. And a piano exam tomorrow. In which, I have to play a song with a seperate melody and harmony. Gag me.

By the way, the lemon cheesecake for the last food day was amazing. And my English teacher is bringing in spaghetti and breadsticks tomorrow for our class.

Remember back when I wrote out structured blog posts that actually had a meaning? Yeah, maybe I'll do that again someday.

P.S. Please intercede that God will not let it rain on Sunday for commencement. I dont' want to graduate in the gym. And I don't have enough tickets for everyone. Yet, a thunderstorm is forecasted.

Crap.

Evening=Made

November 22, 2009

Indeed!

One Down, One To Go

Tonight was my graduation from Knox County Career Center. I have a nice Praxis III portfolio and letters of completion from both the school and from my instructor in the teacher academy. Above is Rachel and I celebrating how awesome it is to be free from typing up the Praxis domains. At least for a while, until we go to real college.

Brief Commerical Breaks

Sorry the blogging has been a little sparse this week. Apparently, my teachers didn't get the memo that we're graduating next week, but instead got a memo that said, "Projects, tests, and papers are a GRAND idea".

Hopefully I'll be back up and running this weekend. But who knows.

I'm sorry for the inconvenience that this has caused both of my readers.

I Know What's Up...

Bask in my glow, folks. Bask in my everloving artsy glow.

An Informative Letter

Dear Family, Friends, and Officials at Kent State expecting my my dad's money this spring,

Please don't have a heart attack, stroke, seizure, mental breakdown, descent into depression, but I have to tell you something. Some of you will jump up and down with joy, others of you will cry and scream, "Why {religious/political figure here}, why?", because not all of you are Christians, which should add to the fun of me giving you this news.

I know that I have babbled non-stop for the past several months about how much I love Kent State and how much of a passion for fashion I have. Kent is great and I would love to be a student there, like about fifty other people from my graduating class. However, despite my babbling, it's not going to happen.

You see, for the past couple of months, I've been struggling with my calling and my future. I've been trying to force my will into my life. It's been a constant battle between what I want to do and what I'm supposed to do. Fashion is great, but education is my calling.

Of course, Kent State has this program, so there's no reason for alarm, correct?

Um, yeah, about that......

Since I was little, I knew that college was in my future. I was going to grow up, get a degree, make lots of money, and put my poor husband to shame. In my mind, it's always been a four-year college. I looked at Marymount, Akron, Ashland, Xavier, Marietta, and a bunch of others. I settled on Kent State.

Bible school never entered my mind. I didn't take that option seriously because there wasn't really anything lucrative available with a Bible degree. I never looked at IBC or Gateway and wasn't like all of the other little girls in my Sunday school and youth group screaming, "I want to be like THOSE people! I want to sing in the chorale! I wanna go to BIBLE SCHOOL!" I think that on more than one occasion, I have actually uttered the words, "God would have to work a miracle for ME to go to Bible school."

Last night, my life was changed. I didn't ask for a change. I asked for some direction in what to do. While doing what I wanted. At the college I wanted.

Last night, a guy stood up on the platform from Gateway, and told his story about struggling with the decision between what he wanted to do and what he was called to do. He called it being addicted to his career and talked about the deliverance he received.

Last night, I wept because I knew what I was supposed to do, but something was holding me back. "God, give me a sign!"

A girl came up to me, and she asked me if there was something she could pray with me about. "I feel like I've had my life all planned out, and now my life's being turned upside down because God keeps telling me to do stuff."

The girl told me, "You know, I was once where you are. I had my life planned out, knew what I wanted to do, didn't have any plans to go to Bible school or anything. I didn't want to do this. I then surrendered my life to Christ, and followed his will instead of my own. It brought me here. My life became fulfilled and happy when I came to Gateway. God has a plan for you, and when you seek it, you'll be happy."

She prayed with me and then left. At this point, I felt like what I had asked God for had been given. I went over to my parents and told them, still crying, "I'm not supposed to go to Kent State."

Last night, I stayed up until about one and filled out the application and wrote my admissions essay. I have tracked down two references. I thought I would be torturously depressed because I wasn't supposed to go to Kent State, but I'm not. I have complete peace and I know what I'm supposed to do for once in my life.

This morning, I went to my guidance counselor, gave her a dollar for my transcript request, and asked her to change the place for my final transcript request, and my intended college in the commencement program. She gave me a funny look, but said, "Yes, that's no problem. Why the change of heart?"

"I don't think it's where I'm supposed to be at this point."

"That sounds good to me."

Matthew 6:33-34a
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.

Sometimes, I Get A Laugh Out of Home

I did not take this picture from a site. I did not doctor it. That is in fact, on the way home from school today.

The best part is that I didn't take pictures or video until AFTER he broke down and had to fix his tractor. In the  middle of the road.

Usually, I hate it, but sometimes, it pays to live in Hicktown, USA.

The ticket is bought. I have hit the point of no return.

Oh crap.

T-minus 993 Hours

I attempted to buy my plane ticket last night. I kept having an orange box pop up telling me I was doing stuff wrong, and after about the third time, my dad told me to stop so that I wasn't paying for the entire youth group to go to Paraguay. Oops. As far as I know, it didn't go through. The prices have gone down since the last time I checked. They went down about $100. This is a good thing.

I also got to talk to the missionary's wife last night. She's excited about me coming to Lambare, and we talked for about 45 minutes about what I do and do not need to pack. We also talked about my living arrangements. At this point, there are two possibilities. I will either be living in an apartment with a young couple who lived in NYC for a while, speak some English, and are expecting a baby in September, or I will be living with two girls down there. I will stay with the Birs for the first few days that I'm there. I'm supposed to email them my itinerary as soon as I get it, so that I'm not stranded at the airport in Asuncion. This would not be fun.

I'm flying Continental, I've decided, because they're cheaper (Thank you, Jesus) and because I get a free carry-on and free first suitcase, as well as a personal item in addition to my carry-on (laptop case, purse, etc.). The luggage gods have smiled upon me.

It has just started to hit that in about a month, I will have friends that will not speak English. My English friends will be in another hemisphere. I'm not going to have my multicolored, awesome bedding set. I'm not going to have my parents. And, as I was informed last night, my home will not have interwebz. Nooo! I can, of course, go to the church and use their internet, but still. I have a feeling keeping up with Grey's Anatomy is going to be a pain.

In 993 hours, I will be getting on a plane to Houston. Then, I will fly overnight to Argentina. In 42 days, I will be in Paraguay.

Dear God, help me.

Why I Don't Evangelize

I left an excessively long comment on Chantell's post about evangelism, so I now am inspired to write my own branch. Go read hers first. It's alright. I can wait.

Are you good now?

Okay, well, here was the comment I left:

I completely agree with you on the whole door-knocking tract thing being outdated. Personally, I think for the most part, tracts are outdated in general. If I were to go up to someone at school, hand them a tract and say, "Jesus loves you. Have you accepted him as your personal savior?" They would laugh at me and probably give me a swirly.

 

I remember when I was about eight, we used to go door to door, taking surveys about what people believed. We would ask them some questions, hand them a tract, and say something along the lines of, "Jesus loves you, come to church." We had no results, and people were typically annoyed by us. I was annoyed by us, to tell the truth. There's nothing more annoying than someone questioning your faith when they knock on your door, interrupting your day.

 

So, we did that for a few years, and pretty much nobody came in. Then, we had a community day last year, we gave away candy and bikes and stuff, and voila, fifty kids still come to our church a year later.

 

*dismounts from soapbox*

If some of the older members of the congregation read this, I would probably be reprimanded. No tracts? No door to door? No going up to random folks on the street and saying, "Repent or you'll go to Hell"?

What?!?!

Allow me to explain.

By the standards of most, I am an absolutely horrible witness. Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad witness. That's me. I haven't ever won a Sunday School contest, and haven't received a prize since I was in elementary school. The people that can do this stuff, God bless them. I have a friend who can go up to someone, talk to them about anime, Twilight, or various Emo activity (Emo is her speciality, so to speak), five minutes later, she can have them talking about Jesus, and the next service, they're in church. I think that's pretty awesome. I respect her for that.

But it's not me. I'm a huge pessimist and a huge realist. Plus, knowing the backgrounds of some of my friends, both religious and otherwise, I know that if I were to lead off with, "Jesus loves you", they would probably punch me in the face. One of these such friends is probably reading this and most likely knows who she is. (Because she's the only school person who reads this.*waves*) The average high schooler does not want to be preached at. They are in school, being told how to think all day, and the last thing they want is someone else telling them that they're wrong, too.

So, I don't. My goal is not(and this is going to come out wrong, I know it) to have masses of people up in heaven, screaming my name, and telling God that I brought them in. Quantity is not my biggest goal. Because I can't tell you how many times I've seen several people come in and get what I like to call "rush-order saved".  The process of this is:

1. Someone brings a visitor
2. That visitor sits through a fire and brimstone service
3. That visitor is scared out of their mind
4. That visitor is scared into an altar call and being baptized

We can have all of the mass baptisms and huge altar calls that we want. But what is the use of these if the retention rate is next to zero? Many people come into the church, sit through the service, get baptized, and never return. If we can bring in masses of people and keep them, then that's great. But so many times, people in the church want to befriend these "sinners" so that they can pray them through, and once they are in the church, they no longer want anything to do with them. They don't build a relationship, there's no follow-up, these people feel alone, and they leave, usually with a sour tast in their mouths regarding Christianity, particularly of the particular denomination within which they were neglected, and they may not be able to be reached again.

On several occasions in scripture, new people in the church are compared to newborn babies. We Christians like to say we follow the Bible on several occasions, but when it comes to this perspective, we do not follow this by any means. You wouldn't birth (or adopt) a newborn, teach it to walk, give it some money, and then send it out into the world with a pat on the head and a "Good Luck, kid!". There are years of development that must take place before that child has matured and is ready to head out and fend for themselves. New Christians are also like this. They aren't going to have your standards, your convictions, and maybe even the concept of God like you do. You've been in church for a while. You know how to act. They don't. They're still developing. So, nurture them and help them like you would a baby. Build a relationship.

That's why I don't pass out tracts and I don't bring in a million people a week to church. If you do, congrats. I'm proud. I could never do that in a million years, even if I wanted to. Which I wouldn't mind. But as for right now, my main priority is to be a friend. Some of the people out there think that all Christians are the spawn of Satan who want to beat them over the head with a Bible. You want to know how to show the world Jesus? Don't be that guy. Be their friend. Prove them wrong. Who knows? It may pay off in the end.

Decipher

MINE FROTHY MILK PRODUCT DOTH BRING ALL THE YOUNG GENTS TO THE COURT AND THEY DO PROCLAIM: IT IS OF A SUPERIOR NATURE TO THINE OWN. OF THAT, THERE CAN BE NO DOUBT. I CAN INSTRUCT THEE, BUT I MUST LEVY A SMALL FEE.

Running Out of Time

26 days until commencement.

48 days until I (hopefully) leave for Paraguay.

It's going by way too fast. Prom is next Saturday. I never did get a dress or a date, so it's unlikely that I'll go. My senior presentation is done. My AP test is over with. I am in the process of writing my last high school English paper ever. I graduate from the career center on May 29. My last field placement ends on Thursday and I give my PRAXIS Capstone Senior Presentation on Monday.

I've been waiting for a long time for all of this to begin. So, why do I have this impending sense of doom now that it's almost here?

A side note, I wish I were graduating from UCLA this year. Their speaker is super yummy delicious.

My Pass Says That I'm Working On My Last High School English Paper Ever...

I was given a pass during our (usual) study hall style English class today. To work on a paper. Which isn't happening because it's not due for two weeks and I turned in paper for that class today. Yeah. Not happening.

I really do love my English class, even though it's sinfully boring. The teacher has been there since Jesus was learning English, also my mom. Not equating my mom's age with Jesus there. But...anyway...so, I was sitting there, reading The Catcher in the Rye (for fun) and then decided that I should probably send an email to the missionary saying, "Oh yeah, BTW, I found out I had an unnecessary freak out in regards to the visa thing, so don't worry about it, kthxbai". Or something to that effect.

Hooray for BlackBerry!

I log onto my Yahoo! Mail (a regular occurence in said class) and begin to type out my email using the brilliant technique as follows....

1. Place bookbag on desk.
2. Scoot BlackBerry towards opening of bag.
3. Place reading material on desk.
4. Also, paper.
5. Get out a pen, pencil, or a chopstick that may be mistaken for a writing utensil from a distance by ditzy English teacher.
6. Now, type out your desired text/email/Facebook status with the pen.
7. Your English teacher will think you are taking notes on reading material and applaud your conscientiousness.
8. Everyone is happy except for your bitter best friend sitting next to you, shooting you the stinkeye. But you don't care. You've received praise and have sent your message. Good for you. 
9. WARNING: Repeat only in ditzy/clueless teachers' classes. Or those who are AP teachers who don't care anymore now that you've taken the test. In this case, you may have your BlackBerry out in the open and share humorous anecdotes from your text messages with the teacher/class.

This system works splendidly. Unless, of course, you have asked for a pass, only to be told that no, you may not go now, and then other people need passes and you are offered a pass later on whilst typing your message and the teacher walks over to see you  to that.  But then again, she won't notice even though your phone is in broad daylight.

It's also fun when the computer lab aide comes over and looks at your screen while you're typing a blog. A smart person would change the screen. That person would also be very obvious and likely get into trouble. The second semester senior does not care, allows the aide to read what's on the screen, and watches with bated breath as the aide moves on to the next computer. 

I should probably tie this post in with Dubliners to make it look like I'm doing work. Maybe I should just do a hyperlink to the character list. Enjoy that. Or not. You probably won't.

*facepalm*

The Paraguayan consulate has some weird wording on their site. Or I just have the stupid.

I found another website that says that you have to have six months left before your passport expires. Th

Consulate Wording: The Passport must be valid for at least six (6) months

Embajada Paraguay Wording: A signed passport (valid for at least 6 months prior to its expiration date, and with at least one blank page available for the visa stamp) along with two photocopies of its first page where the personal information is written.

Way to have a freak out over nothing, Muffin. Buen trabajo.

Estupida.

Pray for Me

I'm calling the Paraguayan Consulate today. There may be a problem with me getting my visa, which would mean that I would be unable to enter the country. Please pray for my strength and for God's will to be done..

A Minor Miracle

Maybe it's not a check made out for the rest of the money that I need, but I have found a better deal on airfare than I had previously assumed. Originally, the cost was going to be $1600 or $1700 to fly on Delta (yuck) and probably go through Brazil, not Argentina. Today, I was doing some random browsing and came across a deal that will allow me to go on Delta for about $1200 and Continental for about $1300. Both through Buenos Aires.

Maybe it's not something huge. But it's something that's a much needed boost for my faith for at least one more day.

I'm Ready To Get Out of This Place

I just looked at the school calendar, and I have twenty school days left in this awesome school. *gag* Nineteen if you don't count senior skip day. Which the counting of senior skip day would be a bit redundent, now, wouldn't it? Because it's not a school day if you aren't there. Is it? No.
The great thing is that my last week of school will be full of half days. I graduate from the career center on May 29. Then, a month from tomorrow, I graduate from here for good. Words cannot express how awesome that is.

However, at the same time, I'm willing time to stop. I have seven weeks left in the country. Maybe. I have seven weeks to get the money I need. I would be lying if I said that my faith wasn't taking a huge hit right now. I did what I was supposed to, now where is the provision? I'm ready to go there. I really am. After  I took the AP Exam yesterday, I felt like, "Okay, my Spanish education is complete. Can I please go do something with it?" But, at this point, if it isn't going to work out, I just wish I knew so that I could go find a job and get my license, to get money because I already missed the deadline to go to college this Fall. I must say that I'm not thrilled about that. I don't want to have given up a semester of college for nothing. The thought just irks me.

I know I'm supposed to have more faith than this. I know that I know what I'm supposed to do and God will provide and all of the other things that I get sick of people telling me because I hear it a million times and it's still not happening. I know it, already. This just isn't something that I can wait until the last minute to be fulfilled and I am getting very scared. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.

I Dislike America

I am a proud American, but I dislike America. 

Maybe it's not that I dislike America, but more that I don't like the people in the country. 

Case in point- Cinco de Mayo. Today is a Mexican holiday. We as Americans have adopted it as our own (see: St.Patrick's Day) and turned it into a reason to party all night in the name of Mexican independence. Which isn't even the reason for the holiday, by the way. (Read Chantell's post for more info on this.) So, what was an original Mexican holiday is now an excuse for college students and other various "responsible adults" whose Spanish vocabulary consists of "taco", "margarita", and "cerveza" to go out and party, drinking margaritas and celebrating in the name of a culture which they know nothing about.

I dislike people my age. Not a day goes by that I don't log onto Facebook and see the most hideous grammar, spelling, and punctuation on the planet. How hard is it, people, to write out the word "you" and not embellish every other word with a smiley face or an "lol"?

I mean, seriously. Today, within ten minutes, the following posts popped up:

 cinco de maayyooooo out with the my fraaaanssss

OMG BORED!!!!! WOW I STILL BE LIKEIN HIM:) :D

Gummy bears and sour worms tomorrow!!! bring yo moeny fool! ^^

I wanted to cry and then find these people and beat them down. Why do our English teachers slave over lesson plans and assign us essays to teach us proper grammar and punctuation and form, only to have such imbeciles belittle and deface the English language? It's right up there with Mrs. Lemon's issue with "peaceeee". We do this crap and then wonder why countries think that Americans are a bunch of fat, lazy, ignorant idiots? Come on, people. Have some sense. 

Other posts with angry, I-Hate-People themes include:

March 5, 2007

 

April 17, 2009

Others are probably out there, but I can't find them.

In closing, I would like to leave you with a poem by the great Taylor Mali.

Totally, Like, Whatever, You Know?

In case you hadn't noticed, 
it has somehow become uncool 
to sound like you know what you're talking about? 
Or believe strongly in what you're saying? 
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s 
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences? 
Even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? You know?

Declarative sentences - so-called 
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true 
as opposed to other things which were, like, not -
have been infected by a totally hip 
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know? 
Like, don't think I'm uncool just because I've noticed this; 
this is just like the word on the street, you know? 
It's like what I've heard? 
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay? 
I'm just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?

What has happened to our conviction? 
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked? 
Have they been, like, chopped down 
with the rest of the rain forest? 
Or do we have, like, nothing to say? 
Has society become so, like, totally . . . 
I mean absolutely . . . You know? 
That we've just gotten to the point where it's just, like . . . 
whatever!

And so actually our disarticulation . . . ness 
is just a clever sort of . . . thing 
to disguise the fact that we've become 
the most aggressively inarticulate generation 
to come along since . . . 
you know, a long, long time ago!

I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you, 
I challenge you: To speak with conviction. 
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks 
the determination with which you believe it. 
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker, 
it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY. 
You have to speak with it, too.

Rezos, Por Favor

Please pray for me this morning. In about an hour I'll be going in to take my AP Spanish Language exam. I'm extremely nervous, but I think and hope that I can do okay on this.

And by okay, I mean get something other than a zero.

I Have A Yellow Belt

I hope you get a chuckle out of this. It was much funnier in person. She scared a little kid right before I started filming while she was doing this.

Para Preparar Por El AP Spanish Language Exam, Este Post Es En Espanol

Enjoy, Chantell and Missy. Unfortunately, I have no way to use the alt keys, so there will be no tildes or accents.

No quiero tomar este exam en la manana. Necisito muchos rezos de ustedes. Por favor. Porque, siento que voy a ensuciar esto en una manera muy grande. Mi tenso de subjunctivo no existamente. Y, yo necisito eso. Tambien, en una manera grande. 


Asi pues, ruegue por favor. Ruegue mucho. 

A Door

I think I may have found a door.

Please pray for me over the next couple of weeks. If this works out, I'll let you all know first. 

If this works out, it could mean a change in majors. Or not. Perhaps just the addition of a minor. Or two degrees. I don't know.

Of course, this just became a possibility ten minutes ago, so I may be overreacting.

But still. Cool.

I don't have senioritis

I have no senioritis.

I'm not putting off my KAP English paper until the last minute.

I'm also not putting off my COTC paper until the last minute.

I also didn't wait until the last minute to fill out my AP Exam forms today.

I also didn't play hooky on Wednesday.

I'm also not spending my free time in the library workroom playing Pandemic II.

Nope. Not me.

Senior Snack, Lack of Commencing, and Other Miscellanious Assortment

I didn't get commencement speaker.

I didn't even get a recall, like six of the eighteen of the people. I pretended like I didn't care, but in all honesty, did not take that well at all. I was a little crushed, which I felt dumb for, because in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. But I was. I'm better with it now, still semi-distraught, but much better than on Tuesday when I actually found out. That was no fun at all. Today, Mr.Tuel, the librarian and one of the judges for the contest, came up to me and said that he was, for what it was worth, very sorry that he didn't have better news about the commencement speech. This proceeded to make me feel all choked up again. Not good times.

I have one more grand decision to make towards high school. I now have to decide what my senior snack is going to be. What is the senior snack? Well, I'm glad you asked. As I have mentioned many times before, on Tuesdays and Thursdays there is great delicious goodness in the library workroom as Mrs.Fritz is a baking machine. She makes cakes, pies, cheesecakes, crisps, root beer floats, bean dip, cheese dip, various other mexican dishes, and today she made peanut butter brownies with chocolate ganache.

Oh. Dear. Lord.

Delish.

So, apparently, she only has three seniors working in the library this semester, me and two guys in the third period (I'm in second). So, she's going to make whatever we want for our last day as a senior. This is going to be tough.

I have not yet picked the teacher whom I will honor at commencement, but I now have it narrowed down to three. Good for me.

Two months from today, I will be in Paraguay. Two months from yesterday, I will get on the plane. In addition, it looks like I may have to pick cost effectiveness over enjoyment. I have always wanted to go to Buenos Aires, Argentina. I have been stoked about that for the past several months, because I would have a layover there. However, in order to have a layover there, and not in Sao Paolo,Brazil, it is about $100 extra. This $100 isn't a lot, but as I'm struggling for funds anyway, it may be a bigger deal than I thought. I'm not thrilled about this, but I have to do what I have to do. I currently have enough for my ticket, but once I get there, I won't be able to live or eat. Huzzah.

And in other news, a poll released today said the following: How would you grade President Barack Obama's performance thus far? The majority of respondents gave him either an F (71%) or an A+ (14%).(It's from here.) That's nice. And overwhelming.