No Way!

Dear Bob-The-Motorola-Q,

You have failed me. I am wounded. I understand that you are all for conforming and thought that you would be cool and clear your hard drive to be like SNB's computer, maybe that's what all of the cool techie toys are doing. You know, like high tops and poofy hair in the 80's. But really, was it necessary to clear off everything on my phone? I mean, call history I can understand but you went and deleted all the texts I had saved, like since October, and the videos I hadn't uploaded yet of my brother doing a Barbie funeral and wedding (which believe me, the people who read this would have found very funny), and that dumb video of Garrett threatening to take over the world with green jello, which let's face it, will never cease to make me laugh my butt off and thank god that I uploaded it to YouTube before you went dumb. Then, you had to delete all of my contacts, which you better thank God I had saved on my computer as back-up, which prevented me from throwing you across the room. That and Dad would have killed me. You also deleted my calender, which had my exam schedule and everything else on it. And my ringtones. You're so rude.
I would greatly appreciate it if you would refrain from clearing your memory again until such time that I tell you that you may do so. Such a measure would insure that I don't keel over in the prime of my life at 17.

Your Owner,

Her Royal Muffinness,
The Muffiny of the Muffins,

The Muffin