Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Things About Me That People Want To Know Apparently: Why I Went Veg

A few days ago, whilst freaking out over the fact that I had committed to a steady flow of blog posts, I begged and pleaded and cried that someone, anyone, would give me some kind of writing prompt, expecting people to ask all the deep questions to probe my obviously sage wisdom.

People didn't. 

I did, however, get asked about my vegetarianism. Which is almost the same thing. So there you go.

Let's clear up a few of the FAQ's. 

  1. No, I don't eat meat. 
  2. No, not even bacon.
  3. Yes, I live quite well without bacon.
  4. Bacon does, in fact, qualify as a meat.
  5. Yes, even if it is delicious and ordained by God. 
A few years ago, while I was still at Gateway, a dear friend of mine that will remain unnamed subtly suggested that maybe we should go vegetarian together as a New Year's Resolution because how fun would that be and we would be so hippie and hipster. So I said yes and when I came back to school after Christmas break, on January 6, 2011, I ate a Beefy Five Layer Burrito from Taco Bell as a farewell to my meat loving life. In retrospect, that was a horrible insult to all of the animals that had died to give forth nutrients in the past and I'm sorry that I can't say something awesome like steak or foie gras, except for that foie gras actually sounds really disgusting in real life.

We will refrain from the fact that two days later, my same hippie, hipster, vegetarian partner sat down next to me, eating a ham and cheese sandwich, shrugging, and giving me a half-hearted "Sorry."

But yea, though I walked through the valley of malnutrition, I ate no flesh of the beasts of the field.

Seriously, though. About the malnutrition. I got super anemic about two months in because I seemed to forget the minor detail that meat has things like, oh, I don't know, iron and protein in it, and my hair started falling out and other gross things. Therefore, if any of you decided to live the meat-celibate life, I strongly urge you to take a multivitamin, and quite honestly, prenatal vitamins work best because they have the most iron and are wonderful after you get past the fact that they taste like poo.

So, that's the primary reason that I went vegetarian. However, the part that a lot of people don't know is that during the same period of time, some really serious things were going on in my life and the lives of a few people that I loved dearly and I ended up, for lack of a better, less cheesy word, dedicating my vegetarianism as sort of a fast. This was only supposed to last through September, and, sparing the details to protect those affected, God honored it greatly.

Once September ended, I kept thinking, okay, I can go back to eating meat now. And kept planning on doing so. And then it never happened.

Until Thanksgiving.

Guys, Tofurkey is just disgusting. Don't believe the lies. Don't do it. It's so bad.

But I did eat some that day and it was just not a good thing. And much like all things sinful, in the end, it just didn't satisfy. *church organ trill*

So when my mother said, "Are you sure you don't just want to cheat and have a cold turkey sandwich," of course I did. So I did. And got so. Incredibly. Sick. This is what happens when you don't eat animal proteins and then give your body said proteins, and your body looks at you like, "What are this?"

Since then...the desire for meat is pretty well gone. Do I still lust for a round of Chik-fil-a bites with poly sauce and waffle fries every once in a while? Um. Yeah. Yeah, I do. So much. Also, sometimes, you have no idea how good a Bacon Cheeseburger looks. (This causes multiple problems because I'm also Kosher and it is not by any means.)

But then I remember that I've invested two and a half years into this thing that I feel makes me feel interesting and well rounded and slightly skinnier (true fact) and I abstain and crunch on some celery. Or soy burgers. Or red curry with tofu.


Now I'm starving.


Jewel said...

I am endeavoring to minimize my consumption of red meat and am doing quite well, if I do say so myself. I am doing this in an effort to be more healthy and lose weight. I feel so much better and I do know what you mean about feeling really yucky after eating meat when you've abstained for awhile. I looooove vegetables and like fruit, so this isn't too difficult for me. But I also LOOOOOOVE bread, chips, pasta, potatoes and almost every condiment known to man but it is that WHITE stuff that is killing me, so I am doing my best to abstain. I know, they say you can eat whole wheat pasta....it's so tough, unlike the TENDER white pasta that I LOOOOVE. AND I know also that you can make many of the condiments yourself, making them lower in calorie and better for you because they aren't laced with all of the chemicals and preservatives, BUT, in all reality.....I don't want to make them myself. I'd rather buy them and just pour them, you know? :-) so that has been a bit of an adjustment.
Anywayyyy, love this first installment of your blog marathon and look forward to reading MORE!! Out with them! :-)

Ashley Martinez said...

Beautifully said my fren :) love ya! <3