I Hate Writing

Guys, I hate writing.

I really and actually hate writing.

It's not that I don't like writing to you fine people. Both of you are delightful. Blogging is a different thing altogether. There is no pressure with blogging aside from the fact that sometime it's 11 PM on Sunday night and you realize you've written nothing and so you panic and write a haiku about a convention that has ended by that time (without you being present, for which I'm still seeking therapy). There's no pressure about semantics and structure and flow and I can just say anything I want really and not have to worry about if it's in keeping with my main idea or, in the situation that you are basing your story's roots off of another story, that your plot points match up with those of the story from which you are drawing inspiration.

And perhaps the most frustrating part of all is that sometimes you have all the ideas and your story has a brilliant point and meaning and your beginning and ending are cemented and you know what's going to go into the middle but have no idea how to execute it. Which probably explains why in the middle of writing my current project, I smacked my head against Lenny the Laptop last night and proclaimed, "I WANT TO AUTHOR BUT I DON'T WANT TO WRITE ANYMORE!"

Because that's true. I enjoy the end product of the craft of writing, seeing my words come together and my heroes prevail and villains die slow and painful deaths or completely go all Moffat on everyone and make everyone die and weep and just pain and feels. I enjoy putting my stories out there to be read and enjoyed and typically given positive feedback except for those people that feel the need to backhand their compliments with, "I like it even though..."

(A note: Do not hedge when giving your beloved writer feedback. I will hear your feedback as one of two things. "I love this. Please write more things." or "I hate this. Please crawl in a hole and die so that I never have to read your words again." I am this extreme. It's a fatal flaw.)

So you will have to excuse my frenzied and probably sporadic blogging and keep in mind that this is actually a wonderful thing because I'm just clearing my head and writing something here so that I can write good things there and that in the end, all that I really care about is the fact that I'm WRITING again and that's my favorite thing. 

But I'm sorry that you all have to read it.