Random Thoughts After Three Weeks

This is  for the dear people at church who have resorted to my Twitter feed to keep up on my life. Although I'm pretty sure I caught all one of them up at church tonight.

I haven't written on here in three weeks.

That's not to say I haven't written. Just not on here.

Because anymore a lot of my writing is deep, symbolic whatever and do you really want to read that?

No.

Okay, maybe you do.

So maybe I'll post it more.

My life is boring. Incredibly busy, yet uneventful at the same time, if that makes any sense at all. Lots of papers, lots of homework, and all of that other stuff that they cram into the last month or so of the semester. The fact that it's the end of a semester blows my mind. It's gone by far too fast. I'm on Spring Break for this week, and that is killing me.

I love where I go to school. You don't have to drive 45 minutes to get to decent shopping or any kind of entertainment for that matter. And yet it's not ridiculously busy. I really like St.Louis. I love the people in it. I miss each and every one.....lies.....not every one. I miss a number of them terribly. My BlackBerry has been in overdrive the past few days. With me texting them. Pretty sure they're sick of me. But oh well.

Three months this summer will kill me.

I don't think you get how much you've changed until you come back from somewhere after being away for a long time. It's been longer between the last time I visited home and now than it was when I was in South America. Which, to be honest, makes absolutely no sense to me. Time crawled by there, and it races by now.

But you really don't get it. It's not big things. I'm still me. In basic form. But at some point I grew a spine while I've been gone. And I'm still quiet, but I'm...I don't know...bolder, I guess? Not in a bad, obnoxious way. I just can stand up for myself when I have to. And I've always had stuff that I've believed. But now I actually vocalize it. And I'm more than sure that that will get me into trouble at some point. But somehow I'm okay with that.

I don't know if that's good or bad.

Maybe it's the fact that you're discussing the meaning  behind something you wrote with someone at church and they tell you, "Wow, that's a mature answer. You've grown up a lot."

Or someone telling you that they've never seen you smile as much as you do now.

Stuff that you don't notice yourself, that pops up every once in a while.

And you wonder how you missed it.

And who else sees it, catches it, notices it.

And how you keep it.