And just as things were getting easier and looking up for me, I had to go and look up the Guarani language.
The idea of not knowning Guarani has freaked me out ever since I found out that Paraguay had two languages. But frequently I was comforted with "Oh, it's okay. I'm sure that it and Spanish are relatively similar.
Which happens to mean "bad anaconda" because I can't find the Guarani word for, "What are you talking about, you stupid, idiotic, imbecile!?"
Guarani! Is! Nothing! Like! Spanish!
Commence with new panic attack.
What? You think I'm exaggerating? Look at this and tell me if this is remotely like Spanish.