Tuesday, April 8, 2008


Dear Bus Jerks, 

First, may I offer my sincere condolences for your apparent lack of self esteem and self worth. Also, to one of you for your apparent sudden onset of claustrophobia, which seemed to be cured after school today. Then, may I offer my congratulations for your ability to get a chuckle out of your little buddies.

It is my sad duty to inform you that putting your feet on the seat and stretching out your legs as someone passes by on a crowded bus, WHILE it is moving, and when they ask you "May I sit here", that saying "No" and shooting them a death glare is not acceptable. It's like white after Labor Day. It's so last season. 

I do understand that you need to look good in front of your other little freshmen friends and that my lack of tattoos and various nuts and bolts sticking from unspeakable parts of my body cramps your style. But seriously. It's a 7-minute bus ride. Grow up and be big girls.

I must admit that yes, I was/am a little ticked off. However, despite what you were whispering in the hallways this morning, I am not crying about it, and I know exactly who you are and who I think I am. All you really did was make me mad at first. Then, about 15 minutes later, I chalked it all up to you having more drugs in your system than Janis Joplin, and discovered that it made a great story to tell my group once I got inside of the school. We then all laughed at how sad and pitifully pathetic you are. 

Here's my proposition to you all. I have, all together, 42.5 school weeks left EVER in my high school career, and these are spread over the next 14 months with a 3 month break in between as well as a few other vacations. Next year, you will STILL be lowly underclassmen, and I will be a senior. As will my friends. I'm sure you know the great thing about being an upperclassman, right? Of course you do. We have some sway in whether you guys have a good year or a horribly lousy one. 

So go ahead, dearie. Go high five your chummies because you're such a cool, bad kid. That really makes you a big person. Just keep the fact that I'm on Student Advisory Board in mind. And that my cousin-in-law was in the Navy.

Many respectful regards,


P.S. Thanks for the blog fodder.


NinjaJohn said...

Cousin in law was in the Navy, is a martial arts instructor, and a federal officer.

Carolyn said...

Go cousin-in-law!!! He's a keeper! lol

But ah yes, I well remember those wonderful high school days. Have I ever been there before! (lol) I hear ya sista! Being a senior will, in fact, rock!!....for you. The other "chummies" would do well to keep that in mind. *sinister laugh*

Tiffany said...

Other cousin-in-law is still in the Navy and can beat them up with spare aircraft parts! :D lol!

Just remember darling, a few years from now high school will be but a blip in the radar of your life. With any luck your knight in shining armor will also hate Ohio and carry you off to greener pastures like mine did and all those girls will get stuck in Mt. Vermin. Just remember, just about every successful person has horror stories about the girls in high school. Except Vanna White. She was one of "those girls". Who wants to be like Vanna? Ew!