I think that sometimes in an average work week or school week, you have to get all the bad out at once and things then go back to normal. For example, Monday and Tuesday were very blah days; I was really tired, not motivated, but still the day wasn't that bad. Wednesday outright sucked. I mean just sucked beyond all reason. I rarely actually start crying in between classes- note I said actually start rather than feel like- but I did on Wednesday. It was horrible.
But after the crappiness that was Wednesday, things really calmed down. I haven't had a good day, per se, yet, but things have been calm. I got a new layout for the blog for those of you who say that red hurts your eyes. But my comments don't show up. I have emailed an expert in blog layoutage and hopefully will have the ability for you to send me nastygrams again shortly.
There are doughnuts in the library today. Two boxes. It's like torture trying to pick just one to be considerate of the bajillions of people who don't work in here, yet mooch. It's great fun. Of course, the moochers are teachers, and if I were a teacher and had to put up with myself, I would most likely mooch the occasional doughnut for sanity preservation purpose, as well. Why? Because I hate teaching anything above the first grade. I can't decide whether third graders or eighth graders are worse, though. Third graders have just really started to whine and complain and be sick of school, so it's really drawn out and annoying. Eighth graders have become proficient at the activity of whining, yet there is an end in sight for them to get out of this place, so they usually won't be so bad. Unless, of course, you have a repeat of my middle childhood placement, where you have children throwing other kids across the room into desks and walls. It's great fun, really. It's bad when half of the days that you're sitting in your placement you think, "Man, I really wish I was back at the low-income preschool getting peed on."
I really miss that placement. I loved that preschool.
Speaking of which, the poor teacher with whom I worked has to now work with a cheerleader from the teacher academy. I had begged to go back there, but it didn't work out so well. Poor Michelle. Poor kids. I found this out yesterday. But, apparently she has the morning class rather than the afternoon class that I had, so my kids will still be my kids. I think I am going to try to go back for the end of the year. Teacher academy gets out two weeks before my school. I think that would be too fun.
My commencement speech is still going nowhere. I'm stuck and threw out my old idea and am starting from scratch. It has to be done by April 15th for English, six copies have to go to the library by the 17th, and auditions are on the 20th. Along with all of that, I have a senior project to do by April 27th, because I was stupid and decided to go first because that would get it out of the way.
As if that were not enough, I also need to call the consulate, get my plane tickets(hopefully I'll have enough after my presentation on Sunday), and get my visa. In order to get my visa, I need to find out what my address is going to be when I'm in Paraguay. I have not gotten that far yet, needless to say. I'm feeling the pressure. I am leaving in less than three months. That is one of the most terrifying things on earth.
I haven't called Kent State about loopholes to the housing and application yet, either. Nobody has their Spring applications up yet. It's horribly frustrating.
Much like a diet, the second you decide something for sure, you immediately start questioning yourself. Ever since I thought, "Hey, I'm going to be a teacher!", I've been like, "Ummm....are you sure about that? You really, really, really like wedding gowns. Ooooohhh....Vera Wang...."That's always nice. I love self-doubt. It gives me the warm fuzzies.
In closing, how the flip biscuit did this happen? The two things aren't even related. Good grief.