I'm not, by definition, boy-crazy. Now, before all of the via-comment eyerolls come, hear me out. I'm not the typical high school girl, writing my name on notebooks with some guys last name. Nor am I the girl who changes crushes like t-shirts. The fastest I have gone from liking to being over someone is 6 months. I know that there is a difference between thinking someone is amazingly cute and liking them. I am the girl who liked a boy for 10 years, until her cousin beat the notion out of her. I'm not insanely boy-crazy or a flirt by any means.
I have,however, liked this one guy for about a year now. He's pretty much one of the awesomest person you will ever meet. I've known him for about 10 years and he's always been important to me and he's a good friend.
Regardless, I was mortified when I started liking him. I thought it was insane. This was not the kind of guy I normally went for. I COULDN'T like him that way. I didn't tell anyone for 7 months that I liked him. This was my buddy, nothing more.But he wasn't now and he was just kinda stuck there and all I could think was how much I hated liking him. I had been down the friend-to-crush road already and that is the furthest thing from pretty I can think of.
Sure enough, the situation has caused a bazillion problems, and it's a very lucky thing that I'm still friends with the guy, because for a while I didn't think we were going to be.
Those of you who know me probably have figured out who the guy is by now, after reading this blog over the past year. Therefore, you will most likely strongly amen the next paragraph.
Over the past couple weeks I have thought. A lot. And I have come to a conclusion that is so far from new, but doesn't suck less anytime that I realize it.
It's never going to happen.
I have a whole list of reasons why. And I keep saying, "Well, what if..." No! No what-if-ing. Not. Going. To. Happen.
Luckily, much like with 9YG, a few people that do know were more enlightened than I cared for them to be and told me just that. And I hated it. I wanted to punch them. And I hated it more.
But here's what is different. I have decided that I MUST get over him. Must. Because the faster I do that, the faster I get my just-friend back. Which is what I really want.
(Note: feel free to leave your amens in the comments, just don't name names or your reasons why it wouldn't work out because I have enough, mmmk?)