Monday, June 9, 2008

My Epiphany

You are not a god
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that's just the way it is

You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

So, I had this really long post, and then, because my life just can't be simple, the computer went out out and I lost it. So, I'm going to cut to the chase and just put in the good part instead of all of the fluff I had before.

If you read over the last couple suicidal blog posts, usually referring to some kind of water, you can probably guess my life hasn't been sunshine and roses lately. I've got a college, missions trip, job, school, and various other issues to worry about. I feel like I'm smacking my head against the wall with life right now. It's kinda, okay, really crappy, actually.

Here's the thing I realized tonight. It sounds dumb, but I guess it just kinda hit me tonight. I felt like God kinda was talking to me and trying to explain what's going on. Here, in "me-terms", is what that conversation would have gone like:

"Dude, are you stupid or just blind?"

"Um, God, aren't you being a little harsh?"

"Well, being merciful and loving wasn't really getting through to you."

"True. I am kinda thick-skulled."

"I know. Anyway. Why are you stressing out?"

"Have you seen my life lately, God? Stupid question, yes, but fair."

"Yeah. Why are you handling this yourself?"

"Because I have been praying and fasting and it seems like you don't want to help me. Where else am I supposed to turn, God?"

"Did you ever think that maybe I am helping you?"

"How, exactly?"

"You do realize that I have a plan for everything?"

"So I've heard. Still waiting on that plan."

"Just because I have one, doesn't mean that you know about it. That's why I'm God and you aren't."

"I'm sure many people are thankful for that."

"Indeed. You can't even keep your room clean."

"Not to be rude, God, but can we stay on subject? I mean, if it's okay with you?"

"Sure. Anyway, like I said, I have this all under control."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Dude. Does the term 'omniscient' mean anything to you?"

"Good point. But are you sure you don't want my input?"

"I'm sure. If I want to know what you think, I don't really have to ask."

"That's true."

"I know."

"So what am I supposed to do? I can't really just let it all blow over can I?"

"No. Just keep praying and fasting. I've kept you this far, haven't I?"

"Well, yeah.....but...God....with colleges, and this missions trip, and the guy stuff, and everything else....well, God... I think I'm in over my head, God!"

"You are, kiddo."

"Gee, thanks."

"But do you remember about that story about Peter? And the storm?"


"I can walk on water. It's not over my head."

"But I'm not you, God. I can't walk on the water."

"No, YOU can't. But you ARE my child. And I can carry you over it."

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