Hour 19....

In case you hadn't gathered this from last night, I'm having a pretty difficult couple of days. Leaving yesterday was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and I'm still not doing great, although sleeping most of the way from Houston to Argentina helped a lot.

I'm sitting in Buenos Aires right now and I'm leaving for Asuncion in about two hours. I have hobbled my way through customs and check in with my extremely broken Spanish. I got stopped at customs so that they could look at my books and make sure that they were, in fact, books. It was scary. I'm attempting to get used to a different keyboard layout because the Latin American setup is just really weird, and I can't find somewhere to  buy an adapter. That will be problematic if I can't find one.

I should also mention that thanks to the pandemic right now, I had to wear a very fashionable face mask until I got checked in. Not good times.

I am going to meet the missionaries in about four hours. I don't honestly know what to expect on that end. I do know that once I go live with this family that they have arranged, life is going to be fairly difficult, I'm just guessing from how hard it's been to get by with my Spanish here.

I don't know how I'm going to make it for the next six months right now. I haven't even been gone for 24 hours and I'm a wreck. I called my parents last night and I was bawling. It was not fun at all.

In my heart, I know that this is what I'm supposed to do. My head is  telling me something completely different. I  can't let my head win, but right now, it's seeming pretty easy to do that.

I'm sitting in Texas

Just thought you should know. I'm on the verge of my second crying fit of the day, so I'll spare you the post at the moment.

Last Day In The USA

This time tomorrow, I will be flying somewhere between Mexico and Central America on my way to Buenos Aires, and then to Paraguay. I have been horrible about keeping up with the blog over the past week, because I have been so stinking busy spending last evenings with friends and family, packing, unpacking, and repacking, and experimenting with just how much can fit into a carry-on suitcase.

(The answer to that last one is, a lot. More than the poor suitcase can probably take.)

Between spending a couple nights at Dawn's for the last time, getting thrown into a pool by Cerri, and putting spoons in a certain new homeowner's yard, it's been crazy. I've spent far more money than is probably necessary...well, that's not true. More than I planned on spending, at least, but I'm finally ready to go.

Tonight was my last service at my home church for a while. Carolyn and I did a sign language song (which was awesome) and I got more hugs, kisses, and prayers than I have ever received in my entire life. Even my grandpa, who never gets choked up and is pictured above, prayed over me and got pretty emotional. It hasn't really sunken in that I'm not going to see anyone for six months. I don't think it will hit me until I'm on my way to Houston for my first layover tomorrow. Then the poo will probably hit the fan. Who knows really? God does, actually. He hasn't let me down yet and I don't expect him to within the next couple of days. Prayers are going to be greatly appreciated.

I will be live blogging on the way there. I have two four-hour layovers, one in Houston, and one in Buenos Aires. I'll type at you then!

I'm a trend follower

Danessa is the only one awake at Dawn's house right now. So, I'm going to go ahead and do this. You enjoy that.


What is on your desktop wallpaper?


What is your favorite zoo animal?
Lemurs
What was your favorite toy as a child?
Mr.Bear. Duh.
What food do you eat too much of?
Pizza
What kind of hairstyle do you have?
It's not really styled at the moment.
What was your favorite gym class activity?
Dismissal
What is on the shirt you are wearing right now?
Nothing
What is the picture nearest to you?
It looks like there's a stack of baptism pictures on the table by me. I don't know though.
What kind of salad dressing do you like?
Ranch
What is your least favorite food?
Pineapple. Mainly because it makes my throat feel like it's spontaneously combusting.
What do you do on a Sunday night?
Go to church
If you could only have one condiment to use on your food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Ranch dressing. True story, the last year I ate lunch in the cafeteria (my junior year), my friends counted only six days throughout the entire year that I didn't use ranch.
What color are your sheets?
White with flowers
How big is your computer screen?
No idea
What pair of shoes do you wear most often
Black flipflops or jelly shoes
What is your favorite game?
Sims 2
What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?
Mashed potatoes and gravy
What is your favorite pizza topping?
Pepparoni
What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning?
I'm not sure. It's the last few days that I'm home and can sleep in before working in Paraguay.

Dear Kate Gosselin, I hate you with a deep passion

1.) I knew it.
2.) I hate both Jon and Kate.
3.) Their poor plus 8. =(
4.) I still hate Kate more.
5.) Kate has HORRIBLE grammar.
6.) She also makes up words like "agreeance".

The end.

Medicine and Miracles

Doxycycline: Breakfast of Champions
Originally uploaded by Joey T

Yesterday, I headed over to the health department to get the rest of my vaccines before I head out in ten (TEN!) days. I didn't really know exactly what I was going to get. I knew I was going to finish up my Hepatitis A and B series, but that was about it. I knew that there were a few other shots, but wasn't sure if they were required, and assumed that we would have to make an appointment to meet with a travel nurse who would give us all of the info we needed.

Well, it turned out that she had an opening right then, and we could go ahead and meet with her as soon as we could. So, my mom went down to figure out all of the payment stuff, while I went in and got my hep vaccines.

Something to note- although I am a HUGE baby with a LOW pain tolerance, shots are not a big issue for me. If the injector doesn't tell  me when they are sticking the needle in, and they are quick, and I don't look, I'm good. I actually kind of enjoy shots as opposed to pills because they are quick and over with. The hep shots sting for about two seconds, my arm is sore for about ten minutes, and I call it a day.

So, I walk back to meet with the travel nurse and she has printed off the CDC's travel disease info about Paraguay, and I impressed her by saying, "Oh, the Yellow Book!", because she even had to look up what it was called. She lists off Yellow Fever (big surprise) and tells me that there's a risk. I'm a show off again and say, "Yeah, the CDC calls it a developing case and it started back in February, right?" Poor lady, putting up with me. So, she then tells me that I also have to get a typhoid shot, which was not a pleasant surprise, as if to say, "Haha, you show off! Didn't know about that risk, did you? Extra needles for you!" So, I get a very cool international inoculation certificate for this thing, and it lets me pass through borders much easier. Yay for that!  She also wrote me a prescription for Doxycycline,  an anti-malarial drug which is often used for acne prevention. Sweet!

My typhoid shot was in stock, thankfully, and so when she goes and gets the injections ready, she sits down and tells me very seriously, "It must be fate that brought you here today. I usually never have a Yellow Fever vaccine dose, because it has been in very high demand lately because of the outbreak. I have one dose left and thankfully, it's not already spoken for. You are very lucky."

P.S. I also didn't know that the vaccine had to be administered 10 days before I left. I got there 11 days before, just in the nick of time. And, by the way, although I can handle shots, that vaccine for Yellow Fever flipping HURTS! Yikes! And the side effects aren't all that fun, either.

So, apparently God really wants me to go, because it's just one more thing that's worked out against the odds. The funds are there, the shots are done, the prescription is in hand. I'm ready to go.

Blank

I miss my best friend. I can't sleep.

How can someone throw away four flipping years over something so dumb?

I hate this.

Done

I was always told that the friends I had in elementary school would probably not stick with me until the end. I didn't ever want that to be true, but lo and behold, as time went on, I only kept one or two friends from elementary school.

I've always envied people that have best friends who are there from the time that they're three until the time they have kids. I always wanted to have lifelong friends.

Until I got into my freshman year of high school, I never had a best friend that I did everything with and went everywhere with. I had a best friend and we played at church and I went to her house. But my freshman year, I found a "grown-up" best friend, I guess you could say. We were practically inseperable. We had classes together, we practically lived at each other's houses, we walked downtown all the time. We did Christmas shopping and studied for exams together. When she fell down the stairs and got a concussion, I went over to her house and sat with her to make sure she didn't do anything dumb under the influence of way too many painkillers. I was at her house when I got the call that Tiffany died.

For the past four years, she's been my best friend. We were going to go to the same college, until I changed to a bible school, and although we seemed to argue a lot, I didn't think anything of it because all friends fight, right? It wasn't a big deal.

Then, it started. She got mad at me one day after I called her out on badmouthing one of my other friends.  She was constantly talking about people behind their backs and never seemed to have anything nice to say about any of them. She felt the need to tell me how to run my life and tell others how to run theirs. The girls that we always hated and said that we would kill ourselves if we resorted to such a low; that's what she became.

She wouldn't talk to me on Graduation Sunday. The week before, she told me that she couldn't come to my graduation party because she had "too many others to go to". She sent me a text that said "Congratulations" a few hours after we graduated, she didn't show up at my party, and then I didn't hear from her for three days.

I heard through the grapevine that she was mad at me. I don't know why. She didn't ever tell me why she all of the sudden started acting the way that she did. The week before, we took pictures at our career center graduation, both excited to be done, hugging each other and jumping up and down because we would graduate in a week.

I finally sent her a text on Thursday, asking her what the heck was going on. She blamed me for everything, bringing up stupid, petty stuff which she was just as guilty of, and once I brought this up, she stopped sending me messages. I haven't heard from her since Thursday morning.

I can honestly say I tried. I wanted to keep my friend. I can't stand people hating me or being mad at me.  I've been through this with her before. A couple of years ago, when I thought I was moving, she got mad at me and stopped talking to me for about a week. We went out for coffee and it was all good. We went to school and stayed friends. We don't have the motivation of classes after the weekend to make us friends again. Coffee and a muffin isn't going to fix this. I don't know if we ever will be friends again.

I can honestly say that I'm okay right now. It's crappy, don't get me wrong. I miss having my friend to call when something happens. I hope things go well for her in the future. But, I can't do this anymore, and it doesn't do me any good to cry about it. I think I'm just going to be done.

Financial Woes, Revised

I sent an email to FMD on Wednesday telling them that "Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll go on my own on this one."

They said, "That's great! Way to go with minimalizing your budget! Send us confirmation of insurance and you're good to go! Make sure you have a credit or debit card. Good luck!"

Go me.

I have an AmEx Gold, connected to my parents, who have access to my accounts to pay for anything I put on the card. I managed to find insurance that is for cheap and looks fairly good. I need to have it reviewed by my parents to make sure that I'm not getting scammed, but when I looked at my budget again, I noticed that a third of my expenses were through the Foreign Missions Division.

Um. No.

Let me illustrate in numbers.

The total budget is $7250. Ouch. It is laid out as such-

Travel: $2000
I got a deal. $1300 is the actual amount.
Food: $600 ($100 per month)
Housing: $1500 ($250 per month)
Local travel: $600 ($100 per month for bus, taxi, etc.)
I've been told I'll be walking more than I'll be facilitating buses and taxis.
Miscellanious:
Personal, email, telephone: $300
I have free email through Yahoo! and won't have a phone. Yay for Skype!
Visa costs (including travel to renew): $150
Language study: [blank]
I'm just proud to throw that in. Go me!

These are the realistic/not-going-anywhere expenses. Aside for a few tweaks, these expenses are pretty much uniform.

Then let's look at the FMD Office Projections:

Insurance: $1225.62
WEC/IT Support: $120.00
WEC is my financial system. They're charging to run my financial system and then charging administrative fees. Huh? And why do I need IT support?
FMD Administration Charge: $721.73
They charge me just under $1000 for their administration.

Total budget: $7,217.35
Rounded budget: $7,250

Taking into account my potential insurance cost, I've going to end up spending $4,500 on this trip by going alone. I'm saving over $2000.

Tell me you wouldn't do the same.

Requirements and How To Get Around Them

I don't know if I've mentioned this a lot in the past eleven months, but FMD drives me to want to drink. Frequently. Which is a no-no for missionaries.

They have this requirement that when you leave for the missions field, you must have 50% of your budget AND your plane ticket. I thought I was pretty much set, and then realized I wouldn't be set until two days AFTER I am scheduled to leave.

Doh!

So, after I hyperventilated and had a small coronary, fully bringing down my high from receiving my visa in the mail today, I talked to my dad who said, "Why are you even going through FMD?"

Good question.

They have given me fits. They are taking 10% of my fundraising for "Administrative Charges", which is roughly $750. Their insurance is about $1600. The insurance is the only reason that I don't do this myself. That and that I haven't the slightest what I'm doing.

Dad tells me that he thinks he can do better on the insurance. Which is likely because the airfare estimate they gave me was about $800 too high. I'm thinking that doing this on my own may be better. I need to email the missionaries and get it all sorted out, but I think that I'm going to handle my own finances.

I think my blood pressure and heart will thank me.

I'm Graduated

Tomorrow, when I'm not so drained and exhausted, and when I sort of understand what's happened and it all sinks in, I'll post something.

It's All Over

I wish I had some nostalgic thing to say now that I'm done with high school, but it really hasn't hit me yet. High school wasn't the big thing that I always thought it was going to be. There are tons of people who think that now that we're graduating, the world is over. Those are the people that are going to be at our twenty year reunion talking about the three-point shot that they made or their cheerleader status. Maybe that's an unfair statement, because it's not just going to be the jocks. There will be people dwelling on ACT scores and science fair projects forever. It's just not important anymore. 

These were not the best years of my life, like everyone said. I was picked on, rejected, and had more issues with stress than I care to ever go through again.  I got an autoimmune disease from all that stress in tenth grade. If these were the best years of my life, then I want a refund. 

Tomorrow, at commencement practice,  there will be people crying because they're leaving all of this behind. I couldn't be happier.

And that's why I didn't get picked to be commencement speaker.

Productivity

It's my last day of work in the library and they left me in the workroom with four magazines to catalog and a cheesecake variety.

Silly people.

Cam Gigandet vs. Twilighters

Cam Gigandet vs. Twilight Fans from Cam Gigandet

If you haven't seen Twilight, this probably won't be that funny to you.

Otherwise, you're welcome.

I have 6.5 hours left in this building (aside from commencement practice)

I'm out of this place tomorrow.

I have an English "exam" today. And a piano exam tomorrow. In which, I have to play a song with a seperate melody and harmony. Gag me.

By the way, the lemon cheesecake for the last food day was amazing. And my English teacher is bringing in spaghetti and breadsticks tomorrow for our class.

Remember back when I wrote out structured blog posts that actually had a meaning? Yeah, maybe I'll do that again someday.

P.S. Please intercede that God will not let it rain on Sunday for commencement. I dont' want to graduate in the gym. And I don't have enough tickets for everyone. Yet, a thunderstorm is forecasted.

Crap.