Evening=Made

November 22, 2009

Indeed!

One Down, One To Go

Tonight was my graduation from Knox County Career Center. I have a nice Praxis III portfolio and letters of completion from both the school and from my instructor in the teacher academy. Above is Rachel and I celebrating how awesome it is to be free from typing up the Praxis domains. At least for a while, until we go to real college.

Brief Commerical Breaks

Sorry the blogging has been a little sparse this week. Apparently, my teachers didn't get the memo that we're graduating next week, but instead got a memo that said, "Projects, tests, and papers are a GRAND idea".

Hopefully I'll be back up and running this weekend. But who knows.

I'm sorry for the inconvenience that this has caused both of my readers.

I Know What's Up...

Bask in my glow, folks. Bask in my everloving artsy glow.

An Informative Letter

Dear Family, Friends, and Officials at Kent State expecting my my dad's money this spring,

Please don't have a heart attack, stroke, seizure, mental breakdown, descent into depression, but I have to tell you something. Some of you will jump up and down with joy, others of you will cry and scream, "Why {religious/political figure here}, why?", because not all of you are Christians, which should add to the fun of me giving you this news.

I know that I have babbled non-stop for the past several months about how much I love Kent State and how much of a passion for fashion I have. Kent is great and I would love to be a student there, like about fifty other people from my graduating class. However, despite my babbling, it's not going to happen.

You see, for the past couple of months, I've been struggling with my calling and my future. I've been trying to force my will into my life. It's been a constant battle between what I want to do and what I'm supposed to do. Fashion is great, but education is my calling.

Of course, Kent State has this program, so there's no reason for alarm, correct?

Um, yeah, about that......

Since I was little, I knew that college was in my future. I was going to grow up, get a degree, make lots of money, and put my poor husband to shame. In my mind, it's always been a four-year college. I looked at Marymount, Akron, Ashland, Xavier, Marietta, and a bunch of others. I settled on Kent State.

Bible school never entered my mind. I didn't take that option seriously because there wasn't really anything lucrative available with a Bible degree. I never looked at IBC or Gateway and wasn't like all of the other little girls in my Sunday school and youth group screaming, "I want to be like THOSE people! I want to sing in the chorale! I wanna go to BIBLE SCHOOL!" I think that on more than one occasion, I have actually uttered the words, "God would have to work a miracle for ME to go to Bible school."

Last night, my life was changed. I didn't ask for a change. I asked for some direction in what to do. While doing what I wanted. At the college I wanted.

Last night, a guy stood up on the platform from Gateway, and told his story about struggling with the decision between what he wanted to do and what he was called to do. He called it being addicted to his career and talked about the deliverance he received.

Last night, I wept because I knew what I was supposed to do, but something was holding me back. "God, give me a sign!"

A girl came up to me, and she asked me if there was something she could pray with me about. "I feel like I've had my life all planned out, and now my life's being turned upside down because God keeps telling me to do stuff."

The girl told me, "You know, I was once where you are. I had my life planned out, knew what I wanted to do, didn't have any plans to go to Bible school or anything. I didn't want to do this. I then surrendered my life to Christ, and followed his will instead of my own. It brought me here. My life became fulfilled and happy when I came to Gateway. God has a plan for you, and when you seek it, you'll be happy."

She prayed with me and then left. At this point, I felt like what I had asked God for had been given. I went over to my parents and told them, still crying, "I'm not supposed to go to Kent State."

Last night, I stayed up until about one and filled out the application and wrote my admissions essay. I have tracked down two references. I thought I would be torturously depressed because I wasn't supposed to go to Kent State, but I'm not. I have complete peace and I know what I'm supposed to do for once in my life.

This morning, I went to my guidance counselor, gave her a dollar for my transcript request, and asked her to change the place for my final transcript request, and my intended college in the commencement program. She gave me a funny look, but said, "Yes, that's no problem. Why the change of heart?"

"I don't think it's where I'm supposed to be at this point."

"That sounds good to me."

Matthew 6:33-34a
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.

Sometimes, I Get A Laugh Out of Home

I did not take this picture from a site. I did not doctor it. That is in fact, on the way home from school today.

The best part is that I didn't take pictures or video until AFTER he broke down and had to fix his tractor. In the  middle of the road.

Usually, I hate it, but sometimes, it pays to live in Hicktown, USA.

The ticket is bought. I have hit the point of no return.

Oh crap.

T-minus 993 Hours

I attempted to buy my plane ticket last night. I kept having an orange box pop up telling me I was doing stuff wrong, and after about the third time, my dad told me to stop so that I wasn't paying for the entire youth group to go to Paraguay. Oops. As far as I know, it didn't go through. The prices have gone down since the last time I checked. They went down about $100. This is a good thing.

I also got to talk to the missionary's wife last night. She's excited about me coming to Lambare, and we talked for about 45 minutes about what I do and do not need to pack. We also talked about my living arrangements. At this point, there are two possibilities. I will either be living in an apartment with a young couple who lived in NYC for a while, speak some English, and are expecting a baby in September, or I will be living with two girls down there. I will stay with the Birs for the first few days that I'm there. I'm supposed to email them my itinerary as soon as I get it, so that I'm not stranded at the airport in Asuncion. This would not be fun.

I'm flying Continental, I've decided, because they're cheaper (Thank you, Jesus) and because I get a free carry-on and free first suitcase, as well as a personal item in addition to my carry-on (laptop case, purse, etc.). The luggage gods have smiled upon me.

It has just started to hit that in about a month, I will have friends that will not speak English. My English friends will be in another hemisphere. I'm not going to have my multicolored, awesome bedding set. I'm not going to have my parents. And, as I was informed last night, my home will not have interwebz. Nooo! I can, of course, go to the church and use their internet, but still. I have a feeling keeping up with Grey's Anatomy is going to be a pain.

In 993 hours, I will be getting on a plane to Houston. Then, I will fly overnight to Argentina. In 42 days, I will be in Paraguay.

Dear God, help me.

Why I Don't Evangelize

I left an excessively long comment on Chantell's post about evangelism, so I now am inspired to write my own branch. Go read hers first. It's alright. I can wait.

Are you good now?

Okay, well, here was the comment I left:

I completely agree with you on the whole door-knocking tract thing being outdated. Personally, I think for the most part, tracts are outdated in general. If I were to go up to someone at school, hand them a tract and say, "Jesus loves you. Have you accepted him as your personal savior?" They would laugh at me and probably give me a swirly.

 

I remember when I was about eight, we used to go door to door, taking surveys about what people believed. We would ask them some questions, hand them a tract, and say something along the lines of, "Jesus loves you, come to church." We had no results, and people were typically annoyed by us. I was annoyed by us, to tell the truth. There's nothing more annoying than someone questioning your faith when they knock on your door, interrupting your day.

 

So, we did that for a few years, and pretty much nobody came in. Then, we had a community day last year, we gave away candy and bikes and stuff, and voila, fifty kids still come to our church a year later.

 

*dismounts from soapbox*

If some of the older members of the congregation read this, I would probably be reprimanded. No tracts? No door to door? No going up to random folks on the street and saying, "Repent or you'll go to Hell"?

What?!?!

Allow me to explain.

By the standards of most, I am an absolutely horrible witness. Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad witness. That's me. I haven't ever won a Sunday School contest, and haven't received a prize since I was in elementary school. The people that can do this stuff, God bless them. I have a friend who can go up to someone, talk to them about anime, Twilight, or various Emo activity (Emo is her speciality, so to speak), five minutes later, she can have them talking about Jesus, and the next service, they're in church. I think that's pretty awesome. I respect her for that.

But it's not me. I'm a huge pessimist and a huge realist. Plus, knowing the backgrounds of some of my friends, both religious and otherwise, I know that if I were to lead off with, "Jesus loves you", they would probably punch me in the face. One of these such friends is probably reading this and most likely knows who she is. (Because she's the only school person who reads this.*waves*) The average high schooler does not want to be preached at. They are in school, being told how to think all day, and the last thing they want is someone else telling them that they're wrong, too.

So, I don't. My goal is not(and this is going to come out wrong, I know it) to have masses of people up in heaven, screaming my name, and telling God that I brought them in. Quantity is not my biggest goal. Because I can't tell you how many times I've seen several people come in and get what I like to call "rush-order saved".  The process of this is:

1. Someone brings a visitor
2. That visitor sits through a fire and brimstone service
3. That visitor is scared out of their mind
4. That visitor is scared into an altar call and being baptized

We can have all of the mass baptisms and huge altar calls that we want. But what is the use of these if the retention rate is next to zero? Many people come into the church, sit through the service, get baptized, and never return. If we can bring in masses of people and keep them, then that's great. But so many times, people in the church want to befriend these "sinners" so that they can pray them through, and once they are in the church, they no longer want anything to do with them. They don't build a relationship, there's no follow-up, these people feel alone, and they leave, usually with a sour tast in their mouths regarding Christianity, particularly of the particular denomination within which they were neglected, and they may not be able to be reached again.

On several occasions in scripture, new people in the church are compared to newborn babies. We Christians like to say we follow the Bible on several occasions, but when it comes to this perspective, we do not follow this by any means. You wouldn't birth (or adopt) a newborn, teach it to walk, give it some money, and then send it out into the world with a pat on the head and a "Good Luck, kid!". There are years of development that must take place before that child has matured and is ready to head out and fend for themselves. New Christians are also like this. They aren't going to have your standards, your convictions, and maybe even the concept of God like you do. You've been in church for a while. You know how to act. They don't. They're still developing. So, nurture them and help them like you would a baby. Build a relationship.

That's why I don't pass out tracts and I don't bring in a million people a week to church. If you do, congrats. I'm proud. I could never do that in a million years, even if I wanted to. Which I wouldn't mind. But as for right now, my main priority is to be a friend. Some of the people out there think that all Christians are the spawn of Satan who want to beat them over the head with a Bible. You want to know how to show the world Jesus? Don't be that guy. Be their friend. Prove them wrong. Who knows? It may pay off in the end.

Decipher

MINE FROTHY MILK PRODUCT DOTH BRING ALL THE YOUNG GENTS TO THE COURT AND THEY DO PROCLAIM: IT IS OF A SUPERIOR NATURE TO THINE OWN. OF THAT, THERE CAN BE NO DOUBT. I CAN INSTRUCT THEE, BUT I MUST LEVY A SMALL FEE.

Running Out of Time

26 days until commencement.

48 days until I (hopefully) leave for Paraguay.

It's going by way too fast. Prom is next Saturday. I never did get a dress or a date, so it's unlikely that I'll go. My senior presentation is done. My AP test is over with. I am in the process of writing my last high school English paper ever. I graduate from the career center on May 29. My last field placement ends on Thursday and I give my PRAXIS Capstone Senior Presentation on Monday.

I've been waiting for a long time for all of this to begin. So, why do I have this impending sense of doom now that it's almost here?

A side note, I wish I were graduating from UCLA this year. Their speaker is super yummy delicious.

My Pass Says That I'm Working On My Last High School English Paper Ever...

I was given a pass during our (usual) study hall style English class today. To work on a paper. Which isn't happening because it's not due for two weeks and I turned in paper for that class today. Yeah. Not happening.

I really do love my English class, even though it's sinfully boring. The teacher has been there since Jesus was learning English, also my mom. Not equating my mom's age with Jesus there. But...anyway...so, I was sitting there, reading The Catcher in the Rye (for fun) and then decided that I should probably send an email to the missionary saying, "Oh yeah, BTW, I found out I had an unnecessary freak out in regards to the visa thing, so don't worry about it, kthxbai". Or something to that effect.

Hooray for BlackBerry!

I log onto my Yahoo! Mail (a regular occurence in said class) and begin to type out my email using the brilliant technique as follows....

1. Place bookbag on desk.
2. Scoot BlackBerry towards opening of bag.
3. Place reading material on desk.
4. Also, paper.
5. Get out a pen, pencil, or a chopstick that may be mistaken for a writing utensil from a distance by ditzy English teacher.
6. Now, type out your desired text/email/Facebook status with the pen.
7. Your English teacher will think you are taking notes on reading material and applaud your conscientiousness.
8. Everyone is happy except for your bitter best friend sitting next to you, shooting you the stinkeye. But you don't care. You've received praise and have sent your message. Good for you. 
9. WARNING: Repeat only in ditzy/clueless teachers' classes. Or those who are AP teachers who don't care anymore now that you've taken the test. In this case, you may have your BlackBerry out in the open and share humorous anecdotes from your text messages with the teacher/class.

This system works splendidly. Unless, of course, you have asked for a pass, only to be told that no, you may not go now, and then other people need passes and you are offered a pass later on whilst typing your message and the teacher walks over to see you  to that.  But then again, she won't notice even though your phone is in broad daylight.

It's also fun when the computer lab aide comes over and looks at your screen while you're typing a blog. A smart person would change the screen. That person would also be very obvious and likely get into trouble. The second semester senior does not care, allows the aide to read what's on the screen, and watches with bated breath as the aide moves on to the next computer. 

I should probably tie this post in with Dubliners to make it look like I'm doing work. Maybe I should just do a hyperlink to the character list. Enjoy that. Or not. You probably won't.

*facepalm*

The Paraguayan consulate has some weird wording on their site. Or I just have the stupid.

I found another website that says that you have to have six months left before your passport expires. Th

Consulate Wording: The Passport must be valid for at least six (6) months

Embajada Paraguay Wording: A signed passport (valid for at least 6 months prior to its expiration date, and with at least one blank page available for the visa stamp) along with two photocopies of its first page where the personal information is written.

Way to have a freak out over nothing, Muffin. Buen trabajo.

Estupida.

Pray for Me

I'm calling the Paraguayan Consulate today. There may be a problem with me getting my visa, which would mean that I would be unable to enter the country. Please pray for my strength and for God's will to be done..

A Minor Miracle

Maybe it's not a check made out for the rest of the money that I need, but I have found a better deal on airfare than I had previously assumed. Originally, the cost was going to be $1600 or $1700 to fly on Delta (yuck) and probably go through Brazil, not Argentina. Today, I was doing some random browsing and came across a deal that will allow me to go on Delta for about $1200 and Continental for about $1300. Both through Buenos Aires.

Maybe it's not something huge. But it's something that's a much needed boost for my faith for at least one more day.

I'm Ready To Get Out of This Place

I just looked at the school calendar, and I have twenty school days left in this awesome school. *gag* Nineteen if you don't count senior skip day. Which the counting of senior skip day would be a bit redundent, now, wouldn't it? Because it's not a school day if you aren't there. Is it? No.
The great thing is that my last week of school will be full of half days. I graduate from the career center on May 29. Then, a month from tomorrow, I graduate from here for good. Words cannot express how awesome that is.

However, at the same time, I'm willing time to stop. I have seven weeks left in the country. Maybe. I have seven weeks to get the money I need. I would be lying if I said that my faith wasn't taking a huge hit right now. I did what I was supposed to, now where is the provision? I'm ready to go there. I really am. After  I took the AP Exam yesterday, I felt like, "Okay, my Spanish education is complete. Can I please go do something with it?" But, at this point, if it isn't going to work out, I just wish I knew so that I could go find a job and get my license, to get money because I already missed the deadline to go to college this Fall. I must say that I'm not thrilled about that. I don't want to have given up a semester of college for nothing. The thought just irks me.

I know I'm supposed to have more faith than this. I know that I know what I'm supposed to do and God will provide and all of the other things that I get sick of people telling me because I hear it a million times and it's still not happening. I know it, already. This just isn't something that I can wait until the last minute to be fulfilled and I am getting very scared. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.

I Dislike America

I am a proud American, but I dislike America. 

Maybe it's not that I dislike America, but more that I don't like the people in the country. 

Case in point- Cinco de Mayo. Today is a Mexican holiday. We as Americans have adopted it as our own (see: St.Patrick's Day) and turned it into a reason to party all night in the name of Mexican independence. Which isn't even the reason for the holiday, by the way. (Read Chantell's post for more info on this.) So, what was an original Mexican holiday is now an excuse for college students and other various "responsible adults" whose Spanish vocabulary consists of "taco", "margarita", and "cerveza" to go out and party, drinking margaritas and celebrating in the name of a culture which they know nothing about.

I dislike people my age. Not a day goes by that I don't log onto Facebook and see the most hideous grammar, spelling, and punctuation on the planet. How hard is it, people, to write out the word "you" and not embellish every other word with a smiley face or an "lol"?

I mean, seriously. Today, within ten minutes, the following posts popped up:

 cinco de maayyooooo out with the my fraaaanssss

OMG BORED!!!!! WOW I STILL BE LIKEIN HIM:) :D

Gummy bears and sour worms tomorrow!!! bring yo moeny fool! ^^

I wanted to cry and then find these people and beat them down. Why do our English teachers slave over lesson plans and assign us essays to teach us proper grammar and punctuation and form, only to have such imbeciles belittle and deface the English language? It's right up there with Mrs. Lemon's issue with "peaceeee". We do this crap and then wonder why countries think that Americans are a bunch of fat, lazy, ignorant idiots? Come on, people. Have some sense. 

Other posts with angry, I-Hate-People themes include:

March 5, 2007

 

April 17, 2009

Others are probably out there, but I can't find them.

In closing, I would like to leave you with a poem by the great Taylor Mali.

Totally, Like, Whatever, You Know?

In case you hadn't noticed, 
it has somehow become uncool 
to sound like you know what you're talking about? 
Or believe strongly in what you're saying? 
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s 
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences? 
Even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? You know?

Declarative sentences - so-called 
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true 
as opposed to other things which were, like, not -
have been infected by a totally hip 
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know? 
Like, don't think I'm uncool just because I've noticed this; 
this is just like the word on the street, you know? 
It's like what I've heard? 
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay? 
I'm just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?

What has happened to our conviction? 
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked? 
Have they been, like, chopped down 
with the rest of the rain forest? 
Or do we have, like, nothing to say? 
Has society become so, like, totally . . . 
I mean absolutely . . . You know? 
That we've just gotten to the point where it's just, like . . . 
whatever!

And so actually our disarticulation . . . ness 
is just a clever sort of . . . thing 
to disguise the fact that we've become 
the most aggressively inarticulate generation 
to come along since . . . 
you know, a long, long time ago!

I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you, 
I challenge you: To speak with conviction. 
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks 
the determination with which you believe it. 
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker, 
it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY. 
You have to speak with it, too.

Rezos, Por Favor

Please pray for me this morning. In about an hour I'll be going in to take my AP Spanish Language exam. I'm extremely nervous, but I think and hope that I can do okay on this.

And by okay, I mean get something other than a zero.

I Have A Yellow Belt

I hope you get a chuckle out of this. It was much funnier in person. She scared a little kid right before I started filming while she was doing this.

Para Preparar Por El AP Spanish Language Exam, Este Post Es En Espanol

Enjoy, Chantell and Missy. Unfortunately, I have no way to use the alt keys, so there will be no tildes or accents.

No quiero tomar este exam en la manana. Necisito muchos rezos de ustedes. Por favor. Porque, siento que voy a ensuciar esto en una manera muy grande. Mi tenso de subjunctivo no existamente. Y, yo necisito eso. Tambien, en una manera grande. 


Asi pues, ruegue por favor. Ruegue mucho. 

A Door

I think I may have found a door.

Please pray for me over the next couple of weeks. If this works out, I'll let you all know first. 

If this works out, it could mean a change in majors. Or not. Perhaps just the addition of a minor. Or two degrees. I don't know.

Of course, this just became a possibility ten minutes ago, so I may be overreacting.

But still. Cool.

I don't have senioritis

I have no senioritis.

I'm not putting off my KAP English paper until the last minute.

I'm also not putting off my COTC paper until the last minute.

I also didn't wait until the last minute to fill out my AP Exam forms today.

I also didn't play hooky on Wednesday.

I'm also not spending my free time in the library workroom playing Pandemic II.

Nope. Not me.